9
Jan
2010
The Sublime Majesty of Andy Reid’s Utility Belt
I’m pulling for the Eagles this weekend because I cannot get enough of Andy Reid’s strange, black, maybe green, gas station attendant jump-suit outfit. I know that’s not what it is, but he is so rotund and oddly shaped, and he wears what looks to be a utility belt, that it all blends together into one mesmerizing coaching ensemble. My other concern is that he honestly looks to be one of the unhealthiest people ever to be on TV. He might only eat candy and Buffalo wings.
That said, the belt is what I really love about Andy Reid. Does he think he is Captain America? No other coach has to wear a WW II Army belt to hold up his headset. He looks like an insanely large, discontinued G.I. Joe Action figure come to life. It’s mystifying and wonderful.
No one ever comments about this. If I were ever in the booth I would be like:
Steve: Interesting point, John, but can I get a camera on Reid’s belt again… Thanks… What is going on here? What is the story with that belt? Let’s go down to Goose and find out!”
Goose: “blah blah… He told me it’s a BELT, Steve, a BELT. Oh did you hear that hit? You have to be down here to hear it guys. I’m going to walk around the field and pretend to be useful. Back to you guys!”
Steve: “Jesus ephing Christ”
