In December 2009, New York Jets football coach Rex Ryan submitted a movie treatment, “Coach vs. Aliens: First & Death” to Universal Studios, which was rejected. Now, for the first time, is a copy of that treatment.
Coach vs. Aliens: First & Death
By Rex Ryan
The scene is the Philadelphia Eagles’ locker room, in the past. Coach Friendly Ryan is giving a speech to the players before a game with the NY Football Giants. A struggle breaks out between the offense and defensive players. Suddenly a meteor flies through the ceiling and lands in the middle of the room. It looks just like a football, but it is glowing green. Everyone backs off. Behind the players a handsome and skinny 26 y/o man (LEX) walks up to the object and touches it, and is blown backward, landing into Randall Cunningham’s lap. His eyes are wide for a moment, and we see what he sees: a fleet of alien ships readying themselves in deep space, then a close up of an oval-shaped alien head with large teeth that says, “Earrrrrtttth” and then Lex’s eyes close as medical professionals are called into the room.
Twenty years have passed. Lex is now the head coach of the NY Jets. He has spent his adult life working in the National Football League as a defensive coordinator. However, what most people don’t know is that during the offseason he has spent his time traveling the globe, training his mind and body to be ready for an alien invasion. He is sitting in his office talking to a player who is about to be cut. The player (MATT SANCHIZE) has all the physical tools to be an NFL player, but Lex has other plans for him.
Lex tells the player that he has a choice: he can play quarterback for the Jets and be a sure-thing first ballot hall of fame player, or he can fool the press, be cut, and join Lex as a soldier in his war against the aliens. The quarterback, who considers Lex to be a father figure, chooses to work with him to stop the alien Threat. He says, “I will follow you anywhere.” Lex smiles, shakes his hand, and says, “Let’s go eat a goddamn snack.” (I think this will be the tag line on the poster.)
We love our GIFs here at ReadAndReact, so we’ve started a new weekly feature where we collect the best GIFs from each NFL week, and post them all in one convenient spot for your viewing enjoyment.
Most of these come courtesy of the always-awesome GIFulmination, @SBNation GIF or@CJZero Twitter… so special thanks to those guys. Submit your favorites GIFs to email@example.com, and PLEASE BE PATIENT WHILE THIS PAGE LOADS.
Jay Cutler kicks Charles Woodson while he’s down:
Packers score on a fake 44-yard Field Goal:
In an effort to present the viewpoints of passionate fans from around the NFL, ReadAndReact will occasionally elicit special guest commentary from some of the more rabid fans we know. We’ll ask them to share their thoughts on the biggest news stories of the day, unfiltered and without limit, for your reading enjoyment.
GUEST COMMENTARY FROM A JETS FAN
Ok, now that I have had time to take it all in … I am still a little confused. I just don’t get it.
Mind you, I have been a Jets fan all my life, and have continually been baffled by what the team does both in the off season and on the field. Being a Jets fan is always like living on a roller coaster of emotions. Something will happen to spark hope, a glimmer of greatness if you will (two consecutive AFC championship appearances). But then reality sinks back in and we end up with the same ol’ Jets! I thought that all of our off-season moves were going pretty well — signing valuable players and filling needed positions at safety and back up QB and then … BAM. Tebow time.
As a displaced Jets fan living in Denver, this was like the nausea that arrives after you have been swiftly kicked square in the nuts. It sucked. But theres nothing I can do so I am trying to see the value and not try to understand the “why”. One thought I just can’t shake out of my head is that Woody made the decision to fill seats and sell jerseys. I went to a few home games in New Jersey last year and the stadium was maybe three-quarters full. I know that Tannembaum and Rex are really pushing to “win now”, as it’s likely that their fates are in line with the success of this season, but picking up Tim Tebow doesn’t really seem like the team’s golden ticket.
That being said, maybe that was never the Jets intent. Maybe they just saw an opportunity to bring value to the team at little perceived cost. With the media surrounding Tebow and New York being what it is, maybe we are just blowing this whole thing way out of proportion. If the Jets made this move to get back, say, Brad Smith, no one would be making such a huge fuss about it. Brad was a QB in college and took over 10 snaps in wildcat formation in many games for the Jets. The big difference was his fit on special teams and in other positions. If Tebow is really willing to do what ever it takes to help the team like he said in his press conference he could prove to be very valuable for the Jets.
The major thing that is keeping me from jumping on the Tebow band wagon is the 4th and 6th round pick we traded away. Will the looks the Jets get with Tebow, combined with his unknown in special teams, be better than the other positions we could have filled in those spots? How bout some offensive linemen? Some pass-rushers perhaps? I guess the draft and the season are the only ways to tell, and it never does anyone any good to play the what-if game. He’s here, he’s a Jet, and now we can just wait and see.
The New York Jets introduced Tim Tebow as their backup quarterback today, which means that the circus has officially rolled into town for Rex Ryan & Co.
The anonymous player quotes and speculation as to whether Tebow will compete for starting time with the newly re-upped Mark Sanchez have already begun, and we’re months away from the start of training camp. Just wait until Jets nation gets a real taste of Tebowmania …
For his part, let’s just say that Tebow is “excited” to be a Jet. In fact, let’s let Timmy say it … a total of 44 times during his 30-minute session with the media:
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
In the words of Bart Scott , I genuinely CAN’T WAIT to hear Rex Ryan explain their thinking on this one. Let the Big Apple circus commence!!!
Before all you Jets fans out there go and purchase your new Tim Tebow jerseys, you might want to wait for the deal for the Broncos QB to actually be finalized.
It seems that the trade between the Jets and Broncos that would send Tebow (and a 7th round pick) to New York in exchange for a 4th and 6th round pick has hit a snag.
And despite the fact that the Jets announced the deal on their Twitter page (which is still up at the time of this posting), they apparently didn’t really read Tebow’s contract before agreeing to the terms. And now they’re contesting a clause that would require NY to pay back $5 million in advance salaries from his rookie contract in Denver.
If this deal doesn’t end up going through, the Jets are going to end up looking really, really stupid.
TheDarkHorse is back in Indy this week for the 2012 NFL Combine – the league’s annual meat market/job interview session with this year’s crop of top prospects looking to make the jump to the next level.
Football’s top brass have all re-convened at Lucas Oil Stadium for the proceedings to assess more than 300 young men’s physical and mental preparedness for the rigors of the pro game. Each prospect will endure a battery of tests with everyone’s thoughts toward April’s draft, and each team’s front office looking to outsmart the other 31 franchises and improve their fortunes for the future. The Combine itself is a bit of a snoozer for the casual fan, but it’s become more and more of a spectacle, with fans attending the event for the first time ever this year, and reports that Roger Goodell is considering adding “Superstars”-style competitions at the event in the future to increase spectator interest (ie., revenue).
You can follow all the riveting action on NFL Network or NFL.com’s blog, and fortunately for us, TDH is on the front lines and has been able to snap a few pictures with his Blackberry along the way. We’ll continue to update this post with more images throughout the weekend as his schedule allows, when he’s not too busy hanging out with Bernie Kosar or preparing to smoke Rich Eisen in the 40 yard dash.
New York’s love affair with Rex Ryan might finally be over. After yet another year of bluster, bravado and championship guarantees from their head coach, the Jets failed to make the playoffs following an ugly 8-8 season. Today, the organization seems to be in an utter state of disarray, as supposed team leaders Santonio Holmes and Bart Scott lead the way with infighting, finger-pointing and wildly immature behavior, both during and after their season-ending loss at Miami.
It’s gotten so bad that Rex actually broke down in tears while addressing his team yesterday, overcome by the emotion of the season. But then again, Ryan has never been one to apologize for letting his passion getting the better of him:
“I’m Irish. So what do you want?” Ryan said … “It’s hurtful. I’m extremely prideful. I want to be the best. I want to win. Sometimes it comes out like that.”
Lest you were worried that the world had forgotten, the good people of Philadelphia are to here to remind everyone about Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan’s foot fetish.
Timely or not (the story originally broke around this time last year), it’s just nice to see fans so committed to their mockery of the opposition. Instant classic.
You know what? I’m starting to think that, for all his bluster (and girth), Rex Ryan might not have the thickest skin for criticism … especially when he’s losing.
At halftime of his team’s 37-16 drubbing at the hands of the Patriots, with his team trailing just 13-9, the Jets head coach cursed out fan in the stands at MetLife Stadium. The guy – possibly drunk, probably a Patriot fan – clearly struck a nerve with Ryan, shouting, “Hey Rex, Belichick is better than you!”, to which Rex retorted, “Shut the f@#k up” as he walked into the tunnel.
Watch the video below, with the action coming at the 15-second mark:
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
From our friends at the SI Vault comes this image of Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan from back in 1994. At the time, Ryan was a defensive assistant with the Arizona Cardinals under his father Buddy, which was also his first NFL coaching gig.
And as this image shows, in addition to sporting a moustache and being a few pounds lighter than he is today, back then Rex also favored the Kenny Powers-esque mullet as his hairstyle of choice:
Aeneas Williams approves.