22
Jun
2011
Eli & Peyton Manning in “Football Cops” (VIDEO)
(Image via DirecTV.com)
With the lockout giving NFL athletes even more time than usual to hawk products for huge endorsement deals, it should come as no surprise that two of the game’s most prolific pitchmen – the Manning brothers – are taking things to the next level with their new promotion. Football Cops is being presented as a new original drama from DirecTV, featuring Peyton and Eli as Mike Tahoe and C.J Hunter, two mustachioed partners who use their rocket arms as crime-fighting weapons.
And despite the fact that DirecTV is playing this up as a real new series, and even has 3 “episodes” listed on the website, its hard to believe that this will actually be a recurring full-length television program. If anything, it’s far more likely to become an unavoidable marketing onslaught of commercials and short-format viral videos that we’ll have to endure over and over (and over) this Fall, until the very sound of the theme music makes our ears bleed.
But before it gets to that point, enjoy the official trailer for Football Cops:
Yeah … as much as we love the Fu Manchu mustache on Eli (let’s face it, anything that helps butch him up a bit is a good thing), and seeing Archie getting into the act as defense attorney Orlando Midnight, we’re going to reserve judgement about this “show”. There’s a pretty good chance we’ll grow to hate it in time.
9
Jan
2011
VIDEO: Rex Ryan’s post-game speech after defeating Indianapolis
As we all know by now, the Jets outlasted the Colts in yesterday’s AFC Wild Card game, winning 17-14 on Nick Folk’s last-second field goal. New York was helped along by Jim Caldwell’s inexplicable timeout with :29 remaining that allowed the Jets to get into better position for the game-winning 32-yard FG try.
Afterward, Rex Ryan was his usual ebullient self in the Jets locker room, and shared his excitement over finally defeating their arch nemesis Peyton Manning and the Colts. And since everyone (ourselves included) seems to loves them some Rex, we thought we’d share it with you:
Unfortunately, the Jets will meet the Patriots in the next round of the playoffs, so this celebration will likely be short-lived.
29
Nov
2010
Peyton throws FOUR interceptions? Surely You Can’t Be Serious
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. (Image via KissingSuzyKolber)
The San Diego Chargers took it to the Colts 36-14 last night, winning their fourth straight game and handing Indianapolis their worst home loss of the Manning era. The Chargers defense was the star of the show, picking off Peyton Manning FOUR times, including two that were returned for scores. After starting the year at 2-5, the Chargers have rebounded in a big way, and are serving notice to the rest of the AFC that they’re a force to be reckoned with coming down the stretch.
The very un-Peyton like performance was caused by the consistent pressure San Diego put on the normally unflappable QB all night long. In fact, during the game, Cris Collinsworth showed a series of highlights that saw Manning flinching before contact was even made by a defender (watch here). It was only the third time in his career that Manning has thrown 4 interceptions in a game, and he has now thrown 7 interceptions in the last two games, making it the worst stretch of his 13-year career. Could we finally be seeing that Peyton is actually human, or is this (more likely) just an aberration?
In case you missed it, the headline for this article is a tribute to one of the greatest comedic actors of our time, Leslie Nielsen, who passed away yesterday at the age of 84. His roles in Airplane and the Naked Gun series will never be forgotten … and to keep this somewhat sports related, we leave you Nielsen’s classic performance as an umpire in the Naked Gun:
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
19
Nov
2010
Li’l Peyton warns Li’l Eli of scary green monsters (cartoon)
This comes to us courtesy of the Philadelphia Eagles, who posted it as the splash intro video on their home page today. Apparently this is the Eagles’ weekly attempt to taunt their upcoming opponent … who in this case are the New York Giants.
I’ve never seen any of their cartoons before, but this one’s actually not bad. Not as funny as the Bang Cartoons, but not bad … I laughed at loud at the way Eli talks:
The Eagles defense picked off Peyton twice and sacked him three times in their meeting two weeks ago, but if I’m the Giants this week, I’m probably more scared of Michael Vick than I am of the Eagles D. This game could be an offensive shootout.
But again, this is an official Eagles cartoon. Is this really what they’re spending their time on in Philly these days? Does this even qualify as trash talk? It’s more cute than anything. Certainly not going to get the Giants locker room any more fired up than they already are.
3
Oct
2010
Runaway train — WAR HILLIS
A couple of thoughts:
* Few things of late are more satisfying than the sight of Peyton Hillis running through the Baltimore Ravens defense. It has been 20 years since the Browns had anything like it on the ground. Not sure it will last — this is Cleveland, he’ll probably tear his ACL tomorrow — and the Browns still LOST to the Ravens, but I don’t care. Watching this guy smash through that traitorous mess of a team was fantastic.
This guy is AFC North material. (Source: Zimbio.com)
* When I ask myself which team better step up huge and win at home this week PRONTO — or face a house cleaning — it’s the New York Giants. This team is on the brink of disaster, but a win over the 3-0 Bears (who don’t scare anyone yet) will go a long way to fixing the beginning of the season. New York seems like a team in search of something — anything — to grasp onto.
* Love how everyone spends all offseason talking about the Cowboys and Giants — and, to some degree, the Redskins due to McNabb and Shanny — and then Philly goes out, once again, and outplays everyone.
* Wicked tired of the Steelers.
* Have the Pats become the late-80s Chicago Bears? We respect them due to their somewhat-recent history, some of the star players are still hanging around, and we know they’ll win 11 games and reach the playoffs — but something is just out of place. They aren’t a Super Bowl team, and we all know it — and they know it. They’ve become the team that gets bumped in the Divisional round for the next three years.
* Detroit fans would take that life in a second.
* I just fell asleep for a few seconds while typing…
* Last night I had a strange dream where Belichick traded Brady to the Bucs for a second- and fifth-round pick. My wife didn’t feel the dream was significant enough to wake her up to recount at 4:03 a.m. — she made that clear. Sounds absurd, but BB’s the same guy who jettisoned Kosar and Bledsoe early enough to shock everyone.
* I hate doing laundry. It always somehow drops into my Sat/Sun schedule. Then I refuse to do it, and I’m fishing button-down shirts out of the hamper to start the workweek. Driving to the office in a wrinkled blue mess that smells slightly like jogging shorts that were peed in — the Browns 0-4 and nobody made coffee.
* T.O. and Ochocinco = snoozefest. Slightly more intriguing than Albert Haynesworth. Slightly less intriguing than Phil Simms and his folksy non-attempts at humor.
* Problem: Fourteen teams are impossible to believe as playoff contenders.
* NFC East might feature one playoff team.
* AFC East might feature three (but Miami needs to start winning prime-time games at home).
* Brady has soft, womanly hair. I think he’s had some sort of work done — fueled by Giselle’s input. Some sort of hair transplant, softening, thinning, conditioning type thing. He was dealing with male-pattern baldness a few years back — now he looks 22. Something ain’t right. I think some people are aliens.
* If Peyton Manning grew his hair out like that he’d look like some sort of half-baked, poor-man’s Matthew McConaughy (I’m tired and don’t care if I spelled that wrong). Peyton needs to do something unusual. He’s a dull robot.
* I get annoyed by: People who rave about the commercial acting of the Manning Bros. They are relentlessly tedious.
19
Sep
2010
Live Game Blog: Manning Bowl II – Colts vs Giants
The Manning Bowl resumes tonight in Indianapolis (minus Cooper)
It’s been a great Sunday of football so far, but the most hyped match-up the NFL this weekend is tonight’s Manning Bowl II (aka the Colts vs Giants), in which the brothers Manning will square off for the second time as pros. The first time – in 2006 – Peyton got the better of Eli and the Giants with a 26-21 win. This time around, Eli has a lot more experience to go with the best receiving corps he’s ever had.
Aside from the QBs, the Colts are trying to bounce back from a beating at the hands of the Houston Texans in Week 1, but will do so without their best defensive player, Bob Sanders, who may be lost for the season. The Giants will look to create pressure and turnovers on defense, with a unit that looks re-energized under new DC Perry Fewell. If they can’t get to Peyton and force him to hurry, this could be a high-scoring affair.
Believe it or not, there are 20 other players involved in tonight's game. We couldn't find any pictures of those guys.
We’re going to be following tonight’s Colts/Giants game using our new CoverItLive chat interface feature (below) … if you’re watching the game and are bored, join us in making fun of the Manning brothers, cringing at Cris Collinsworth, and calling for the heads of the horrible NFL refs. No big whoop.
JOIN IN THE CHAT AFTER THE JUMP
Read the rest of this entry »
19
Sep
2010
VIDEO: Manning Bowl II – “That’s My Brother” DJ Porter Remix
Tonight’s Colts/Giants game finds the first family of football under the spotlight once again, as Peyton and Eli Manning face off in Manning Bowl II. And for all the fanfare that these guys get in the press, there might not be a more disliked pair of brothers in all of sports. People just love to tear these guys down at every chance they get … unless they’re on your team, that is.
Our man DJ Steve Porter (of Press Hop fame) gives the Manning brothers the auto-tune treatment in his brand new video, “That’s My Brother”:
7
Feb
2010
Saints defeat Colts 31-17 in Super Bowl XLIV; Tracy Porter intercepts Manning to seal victory (video)
A picture says 1000 words (Photo: Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images via ESPN.com)
The New Orleans Saints shocked the world and defeated the Indianapolis Colts 31-17 to win Super Bowl XLIV, and bring the Lombardi Trophy home to the city of New Orleans.
Trailing 10-0 at the end of the 1st quarter, head coach Sean Payton made a series of gutsy calls – including a failed 4th and goal attempt in the 2nd quarter and successful onside kick to start the 2nd half – that helped the Saints chip away at the lead and put themselves in a position to win.
Drew Brees went 32-39 for 288 yards, with two touchdowns and no interceptions to collect the MVP award, and the Saints defense came up big when it mattered to preserve the lead. The game winning-play came when Tracy Porter picked off Peyton Manning and brought it 74 yards to the house with 3:12 remaining.
WATCH VIDEO OF PORTER’S INTERCEPTION AFTER THE JUMP
6
Feb
2010
Peyton Manning: Backyard Football Crybaby (video)
This insightful video provides a small glimpse of the NFL’s favorite family during some of their now-legendary backyard football games at the Manning family home in New Orleans. Here we see young Peyton turn into a whiny little bitch whenever older brother Cooper puts the smack down on him, while Archie just watches in silence from behind the camera.
Classic footage right here, folks. Unfortunately, Eli was apparently still too young to don the full pads for such hard-hitting action.
[via StacheMouthFootball]
15
Nov
2009
NFL WEEK TEN LIVE GAME BLOG: THE BRADY VS. MANNING EDITION
Love 'em or hate 'em, this is still the best quarterback duel in the National Football League. (Sources: Al Tielemans/SI)
For the past half-decade, it’s been the NFL’s best, if not only, great quarterback showdown. Tom Brady vs. Peyton Manning. For two teams that don’t play in the same division, these guys have an uncanny knack for meeting annually at a critical juncture. Brady, of course, is the quintessential NFL quarterback, exuding confidence under pressure, a “team-first” attitude, and a will of steel. He’s got the looks, the super-model wife, and a handful of Super Bowl rings. He’s been lavished with riches beyond belief, and yet he remains likable.
Manning, meanwhile, has always been a perfect fit for Indianapolis, a throwback signal caller who’s been an absolute rock for a franchise that drifted for decades before his arrival. With a richer bloodline than any quarterback in our lifetime (even his little brother’s beaten Brady), he’s answered some of his sharpest critics (who wondered if he’d ever win a Super Bowl) and is currently enjoying one of his finest seasons to date. While he’s over-exposed and marketed idiotically — he and Eli come across a little dim in their countless ad campaigns — there’s no denying his achievements on the field.
The most-heated NFL rivalries almost always involve the game’s best quarterbacks. The Cowboys-Niners matchups featured the likes of Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, and Steve Young in the prime of their careers. The Niners and Giants pitted Montana vs. Phil Simms. When the Browns and Broncos met in three AFC Championships, it only happened because Bernie Kosar and John Elway led those teams.
Remember those great Giants-Redskins matchups between Dave Brown and Heath Shuler? Me neither.
This is a quarterback’s league. Always has been, always will be. Even if the Brady-Manning pregame hype is a bit tedious, it has produced some fascinating games. In a league where there are fewer and fewer powerhouse teams amid increased parody, we long for a true clash of the titans, and this may be as good as it gets in 2009.
We’ll be commenting on the games all day, and look forward to chatting with you. Click the comments section to join us for Week 10 in the National Football League.
