26
Mar
2011
The NFL Lockout made simple by Taiwanese Animation (VIDEO)
They're implying that the NFL players are fatcats, you see (Image via NMA.tv)
If you, like most Americans, find in-depth investigative journalism to be “just too darn hard”, then this is for you. The folks over at Taiwan’s NMA.tv have been making a name for themselves of late with their series of US news and pop culture “reports”, which are delivered by stilted animation and, unfettered by the rules & confines of factual reporting, often include blatantly slanderous remarks and innuendo.
It was only a matter of time before these modern day Woodward & Bernsteins set their sights on the NFL Lockout, and they have just delivered this hard-hitting expose, which blows the lid off the labor dispute. In it, we learn that due to the lockout, Mark Sanchez is now running an SAT Tutoring business, and that Brett Fave has been forced to open a cell phone shop. And they’re not afraid to tackle the big issues, like how the lockout might affect the sales of chicken wings worldwide, or players (like Big Ben) running amok without the guidance of their clubs. Leave it to the Taiwanese …
You probably also noticed the “Dan Snyder: Asshole” link at the top of the video, which we certainly couldn’t resist. This clip actually does a brilliant job of summarizing the Redskins’ owner’s general incompetence and douchebaggery.
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
12
Mar
2011
LOCKOUT LETTER FROM AL DAVIS TO OAKLAND RAIDERS PLAYERS: MARCH 11, 2011
Al Davis projects lockout letter on the big screen from his underground lair (photo: AP)
OAKLAND RAIDERS
1220 Harbor Bay Parkway
Alameda, CA 94502
March 11, 2011
Dear [Player Name]:
This is to inform you that the Oakland Raiders (“Club”) will institute a lockout of its players (“Peasants”) as of 12:00 a.m. Eastern time on March 12, 2011.
During the lockout, the following will be in effect:
1. You will not be able to enter any Club facility or the stadium. Mr. Davis will be monitoring you via satellite from his secret underground lair. If you are even seen in the parking lot, you will be immediately incinerated with either a laser beam fired from space or a cannonball blast.
2. You will not receive any compensation from the Club. Contracts, however, will be honored for those bringing Mr. Davis the severed heads of either Lane Kiffin or Jon Gruden.
3. The Club will not pay for or provide health insurance. You will receive additional information about options to continue your current coverage through COBRA. Please note that COBRA is in a pitched battle with G.I. Joe and it might be some time before you hear from them. If you need assistance, please contact the plan administrators, Zartan or Serpentor, through the Hasbro Corp. via sealed diplomatic pouch.
4. You will not be able to perform any duties under your Player Contract or otherwise perform any duties for the Club. Those of you who made extra money digging up graves seeking fresh bodies for Mr. Davis’ cloning experiments may continue to do so, as that is considered an Outside Contract and essential for his plan of world domination.
5. Testing and treatment obligations under the Policy and Program for Substance of Abuse and Policy on Anabolic Steroids and Related Substances will cease. Gamma (Dr. Banner), Cosmic Ray (Dr. Richards) and Super Soldier (Dr. Erskine) treatments do not fall under this category, and will continue unabated.
6. The Club will not give you further instructions or guidance as to workout or trainings. This will not be any different from how we do things normally.
7. Club security and player development staff will not assist you with legal or any other problems. If such services are needed, Mr. Davis recommends any of the following: Matt Houston, Thomas Magnum, Simon and Simon, or the fictional comic book characters Luke Cage and Iron Fist.
8. During the lockout, the explosive tracking chips that Mr. Davis installed in your neck will be deactivated. Please be aware that extreme temperatures and moisture can result in chip malfunction and explosion. We apologize for any inconvenience or anxiety this may cause.
9. You are free to engage in any alternative employment during the lockout. Any services provided to Communist, Socialist, Mormon or Werewolf organizations, however, will not be tolerated and you will be hunted down and killed by Mr. Davis’ loyal band of ninja assassins (“The Autumn Wind”). Once a new labor agreement is reached between the NFL and the Union you may be expected to join the Club immediately. Therefore, you should structure any alternate employment so you can return to the Club promptly after a new labor agreement is reached.
If you have any questions, please contact the blood-sucking stooges that run the NFL Players Association.
Sincerely,
Al Davis
Owner/General Manager
Oakland Raiders
19th-Level Warlock
P.S. Please remember that if an agreement is reached, the first Thursday of each month is Hawaiian shirt day, and I expect 100 percent participation this year. Davis out!
11
Mar
2011
March 11, 2011: The Day Football Died
Well, it finally happened. The NFL Players Association has filed to decertify as a union, meaning that the labor dispute will head to the courts, and it’s going to be a while before we see pro football played again. And in the mean time, things are likely to get weird and messy, fast.
But at least the players’ union webmaster seems to have a sense of humor about everything … this is what the NFLPA home page looks like today:
Not really amusing (Source: NFLPlayers.com)
You’ll have to forgive us if we’re not really in the mood to pore over the particulars of our favorite sport’s demise. You can read about all the nauseating details here, here or here … and this piece by Michael McCann at SI.com does an excellent job of breaking down what you can expect to happen next, from a legal perspective.
Ughh. This is all just depressing.
6
Mar
2011
Potential work stoppage dooms some teams more than others
Keep smiling: Mike Tomlin and the Steelers are built to last through good and bad -- including a potential work stoppage. (Source: 141characters.com)
The NFL and the NFL Players Association have agreed to a seven-day extension to the current collective bargaining agreement, giving both sides another week to hammer out a deal and prevent the league’s first work stoppage since 1987.
The fact that both sides are communicating is hopeful, but the reality is that a tremendous amount of work must be done by March 11 to prevent a hammer dropping on football as we know it.
At the NFL Scouting Combine, coaches and general managers indicated to a man that it was “work as usual” until told otherwise.
Teams claim to be fully prepared for whatever lies ahead. That’s easy to trumpet, but in a normal offseason, we see winning clubs run an organized ship, while other clubs appear lost. How much more so if we move into rocky, uncharted waters?
28
Jan
2011
NFLPA Super Bowl Ad: “Let Us Play” (VIDEO)
(Image: NFLLockout.com)
UPDATE: CBS has refused to air the NFLPA’s ad, obviously taking sides with their television partner (the NFL) in the labor dispute. Can anyone say conflict of interest?
________________________________
What can I say, it’s a video kind of Friday.
This is the commercial that the NFL Players Association produced for the Super Bowl, in an effort to win public sentiment in the current labor negotiations between players and NFL owners. With a potential lockout looming, the players’ union is taking to social media to spread their message, and encouraging fans to sign a petition showing their support. From NFLLockout.com:
Players: “Let Us Play” Fans: “Let Them Play” Here we are, Super Bowl, the biggest event in sports, and an NFL Lockout looms very large. As the NFL celebrates its most successful season ever, NFL owners are preparing to lock out players and fans from their game starting in March. Owners have not opened their books or offered justification for this threat. The players want to play and the fans want to see them play. So, why won’t the Owners take a Lockout off the table? Do your part as a fan and help Block the Lockout.
I’m not sure who they think they’re kidding with the petition, but garnering public support and painting the owners as the big bad meanies in this whole debacle can certainly go a long way toward getting the owners to cave in negotiations down the stretch. Watch for yourself and decide if this commercial does enough to tug at your football heartstrings:
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
4
Dec
2010
NFLPA warns players to prepare for impending lockout
Are we headed for a repeat of the 1987 season?
It’s time for football fans to wake up to harsh reality: there may very well be no NFL for us to watch next year. At least, so says NFL Players Association director DeMaurice Smith, who sent out a letter earlier this week warning its members to be prepared for a lockout in 2011.
According to the letter, the union’s internal deadline for negotiating a new collective bargaining agreement has passed. As such, Smith advised players to stash away their final three game checks in case there is no season next year. The letter also indicated that the league had threatened to cancel players’ health insurance when the lockout begins on March 4th of next year.
“It is important that you protect yourself and your family,” he wrote in the letter, which was dated Wednesday.
NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the news came as a surprise to the league. He called the deadline, “disappointing and inexplicable, especially for fans”, and indicated that the league was still willing to negotiate with the players’ union. Aiello denied that there would be any interruption of health care.
11
Nov
2009
Jared Allen just became my favorite player
This video really doesn’t need much introduction. Check out this AMAZING NFL Player’s Association profile on Vikings DE Jared Allen, and let me know if he’s not your new favorite too:
If you disagree as to the awesomeness of this piece, I don’t think things are going to work out between us … sorry.
(Via WithLeather)
13
Jun
2009
Once were warriors
Tony Grossi reports in the Cleveland Plain Dealer that the Cleveland Browns practiced in a June rain on Thursday. In the article, running back Jamal Lewis claims that he’s never seen minicamp practice in rain. “But at the same time, I think Mangini has a point to everything he does,” Jamal said. “There’s a meaning to everything he does. I think he knows on Sunday we’re going to get rain sometimes, so why not? It’s kind of fun to play out in the rain a little bit.”
The Browns were a soft team under Romeo Crennel, who would move practices indoors at the first sighting of a soft, singular, light-grey cloud overhead. This skittishness revealed itself during the regular season, in continuous, late-season beatings by the division foes and tougher teams.
Mangini is catching heat from various writers (and, according to some, the NFLPA) for drastically changing the culture in Cleveland. If anything, he sees what the old guard saw. Dispatched GM Phil Savage, years ago, was vocal about the fact that the Browns needed a culture shift. Savage’s thorn in the side was being stuck with Crennel–with no power to hire his own coach–and we all know that Crennel (while a wonderful person, beloved by players) was not the right coach for a young team that needed discipline to grow.
Anybody who adores football–and knows that it’s a game to be played with passion in the sun, rain, snow, and cold–must smile on Mangini practicing these men in a downpour.
Playing in Cleveland, in the rain, shouldn't be such a breeze--but it has been.
Why is it unusual? Why have we fallen for the idea that young athletes must be pampered–and that pampering them will translate into toughness? We overreact because the rookies had to RIDE A BUS to a volunteer youth camp (the NFLPA is looking into it… snooze) and we are “concerned” because Mangini held a practice in rain showers.
I played Pop Warner for years. In the sixth grade, we were practicing in the rain. Granted, we weren’t deemed as multimillion-dollar investments, but we were children, reported to be highly valued by our parents, and most of the fathers present agreed that a little football in the rain would do their sons good. And… it did. Why are we shielding these “warriors” from inclement weather?
Don’t tell me it’s about injuries. The Browns were in the top five in NFL injuries in 2008, and that followed an offseason where the team was coddled like a lineup of Cabbage Patch Dolls in a third-grade girl’s bedroom. The Browns ended 2008 playing their third- and fourth-string quarterbacks and didn’t score a touchdown in the final six games.
Yes, it’s time for a culture shift in Cleveland, and if they ever plan to look more like a professional football team, and less like the Stuyvesant High Math Team (below), a little rainfall can’t stop them.
Cleveland Browns 2008 Team Photo
