They sure do start ‘em young in New York … especially if you’re a bitter Jets fan.
This video comes to us from Sunday’s Jets-Buccaneers tilt at MetLife Stadium, and shows an obnoxious 7-year-old Jets fan taking out his years of pent up frustration on a visiting fan.
Worst. Parenting. Ever.
In December 2009, New York Jets football coach Rex Ryan submitted a movie treatment, “Coach vs. Aliens: First & Death” to Universal Studios, which was rejected. Now, for the first time, is a copy of that treatment.
Coach vs. Aliens: First & Death
By Rex Ryan
The scene is the Philadelphia Eagles’ locker room, in the past. Coach Friendly Ryan is giving a speech to the players before a game with the NY Football Giants. A struggle breaks out between the offense and defensive players. Suddenly a meteor flies through the ceiling and lands in the middle of the room. It looks just like a football, but it is glowing green. Everyone backs off. Behind the players a handsome and skinny 26 y/o man (LEX) walks up to the object and touches it, and is blown backward, landing into Randall Cunningham’s lap. His eyes are wide for a moment, and we see what he sees: a fleet of alien ships readying themselves in deep space, then a close up of an oval-shaped alien head with large teeth that says, “Earrrrrtttth” and then Lex’s eyes close as medical professionals are called into the room.
Twenty years have passed. Lex is now the head coach of the NY Jets. He has spent his adult life working in the National Football League as a defensive coordinator. However, what most people don’t know is that during the offseason he has spent his time traveling the globe, training his mind and body to be ready for an alien invasion. He is sitting in his office talking to a player who is about to be cut. The player (MATT SANCHIZE) has all the physical tools to be an NFL player, but Lex has other plans for him.
Lex tells the player that he has a choice: he can play quarterback for the Jets and be a sure-thing first ballot hall of fame player, or he can fool the press, be cut, and join Lex as a soldier in his war against the aliens. The quarterback, who considers Lex to be a father figure, chooses to work with him to stop the alien Threat. He says, “I will follow you anywhere.” Lex smiles, shakes his hand, and says, “Let’s go eat a goddamn snack.” (I think this will be the tag line on the poster.)
During one remarkable stretch in the second quarter of Thursday’s 49-19 beatdown of the Jets, the Patriots reeled off 21 unanswered points in 52 seconds, punctuated by one remarkable play that encapsulates the entire Jets experience this season.
Watch as Mark Sanchez tries to hand the ball off to nobody, then elects to take off running before getting taken out by his own lineman’s rear end. As if that weren’t enough, the impact of Brandon Moore’s buttocks on Sanchez is so great that forces a fumble that gets returned 32-yards for a touchdown:
Ouch. After this most recent embarrassing display, even Fireman Ed is giving up his post as the Jets’ unofficial mascot. This might be a new low for Jets fans everywhere.
UPDATE AND BONUS SIMPSONS-THEMED GIF AFTER THE JUMP
It seems that when former Jets greats (see Joe Namath) return to their home stadium for night games, the standard etiquette is to get hammered drunk before letting someone put a microphone in front of you.
On Sunday, former Jets sack master Mark Gastineau was inducted into the Jets’ Ring of Honor on Monday Night, and his halftime speech was … well, interesting, that’s for sure! In it, a slurring Gastineau – taking extra time to get his words out – calls out fans for booing before getting religious and ending with a labored “Let’s enjoy it and wiiiinn in the seeeccccoooonnnddd haaaaalllffff … Halleluuuuujaaah!”
Of course, Gastineau’s speech could also be affected by all the blows he took to the head during his NFL career … if that’s the case, we apologize in advance. And if he wasn’t drunk, Gastineau is yet another stirring walking advertisement for player safety.
Listen for yourself below, and let the internet memes commence!
[H/T Jimmy Traina]
Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal comes this inside look at what it takes to change over MetLife stadium from the Giants to the Jets for each team’s home games.
Since MetLife is the only stadium that’s shared by two teams, this is the only place in the country where crews have to deal with such extensive changes from week-to-week. To give you an idea, it takes 2 full 8-hour work days just to switch out the endzones, and that doesn’t include all the banners, merch stands, and everything else they need to change from blue to green.
Every year, we try to refrain from pulling a Tom Smykowski from Office Space, and jumping to any conclusions about the NFL season prematurely. In a sixteen-game season, it generally takes several games for teams to figure out their identity, and a lot longer than that to determine a realistic playoff picture.
So while it’s tempting to draw knee-jerk reactions from a couple of games, we at least try to wait until the quarter-point mark to start making our hyperbolic and definitive statements about the season ahead.
And even though many of these will undoubtedly prove wrong, we’re not afraid to draw these bold conclusions after just week four of the season.
So without further adieu, here are our top 5 observations on the 2012 edition of ol’ Jump To Conclusions mat:
We love our GIFs here at ReadAndReact, so we’ve started a new weekly feature where we collect the best GIFs from each NFL week, and post them all in one convenient spot for your viewing enjoyment.
Most of these come courtesy of the always-awesome GIFulmination, @SBNation GIF or@CJZero Twitter… so special thanks to those guys. Submit your favorites GIFs to email@example.com, and PLEASE BE PATIENT WHILE THIS PAGE LOADS.
The NFL is BACK … and ‘merica!!!
On opening night, Rob Ryan also fired up that football is back:
There were several lowlights for the New York Jets in their ugly 26-3 pre-season loss to the Giants tonight. Mark Sanchez’ general confusion and lack of production as the starting quarterback, or Wayne Hunter‘s impression of a turnstile in giving up 4 sacks are certainly at the top of the list for Rex Ryan and company.
But there was one play by Tim Tebow that epitomized one of the harsh realities Jets fans are going to have to come to terms with sooner or later: the guy just can’t throw the ball. For all the larger-than-life golden boy persona and nonstop ESPN coverage, Tebow has never had – nor will he ever have – an NFL-caliber throwing arm. He can make all sorts of things happen on the field with his legs, leadership, and even short-to-intermediate passes to (wide open) receivers … but you’ll never be able to count on him to make that difficult pinpoint throw in the clutch.
Starting the second half of tonight’s contest for the Jets, Tebow led his team into Giants territory on their best drive of the night, including several pass completions and one first down run. But facing 2nd and 20 from the 29-yard-line, Tebow had rookie WR Stephen Hill all alone in the end zone, thanks to a busted coverage by the Giants secondary. As he drifted to his right, Tebow never set his feet and uncorked a duck that landed well short of its intended target, bouncing harmlessly to the turf.
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
Brett Favre won his first game as offensive coordinator for Oak Grove High School of Hattiesburg, Mississippi last night, unleashing his troops for a 64-6 stomping of Sumrall, their unsuspecting opponents.
As you can tell from the photo above, Favre seems to be settling into his role as a coach quite nicely, tearing into an official after a blown call like he’s been doing it for years. And based on the lopsided score, it seems that the 3-time NFL MVP’s offensive game plan for the Warriors did the trick too. With the win, Favre continued his personal streak of debut victories, having won his first starts with the Packers, Jets and Vikings as a player.
ESPN’s Ed Werder visited with Favre and spoke with the ole’ gunslinger about the challenges of his new position. To his credit, Favre genuinely seems to not want to be a distraction to his players, and is trying to be “just one of the guys”. And of course, Favre is bringing his trademark child-like enthusiasm for the game, which must be a blast for these high school kids to be around.
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP