We’re checking in with our old pal Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force for the first time this season, and things aren’t looking so great for the Zubaz-wearing prognosticator and his New York Football Giants, who have stumbled out of the gate with an ugly 0-4 start.
In fact, it’s gotten so bad that Carl finds himself under court-mandated psychological watch, and ingesting a steady diet of colorful pills … which seem to have softened his edge just a bit as he looks ahead to Sunday’s Giants-Eagles clash:
Once again, if Carl picks you (drug-addled or not), it’s pretty much the kiss of death … so it looks like the G-Men are going to fall to 0-5 this weekend.
In case you missed it, Eli Manning had a rough opener last night in Dallas. Peyton’s younger brother threw two interceptions in the Giants’ first three possessions, setting an ugly tone for the rest of the game, in which New York finished with SIX total turnovers.
Despite all that, the Giants somehow found themselves within one score late in the game, largely due to Manning’s ability to bounce back for 4 touchdown passes (including 3 to Victor Cruz). But with the Giants attempting a game-winning drive with less than two minutes remaining, Manning’s short pass to Da’Rel Scott bounced off the backup RB’s hands and into the awaiting arms of CB Brandon Carr, who took it nearly 50 yards to the house, sealing the win for the Cowboys.
As if right on cue, Manning unleashed his first hangdog Manningface of the season, along with plenty of terrible, whiny body language to go with it:
At this point in his career, it’s just Eli being Eli.
As we kick off the 2013 NFL season tonight, we are graced with this incredible set of NFL team sigils, in the style of the house sigils from Game of Thrones. For those of you who are geeks for both the NFL and GOT (like us), this is pure nirvana.
Created by internet hero DJroomba, aka Tim Proby, the complete gallery of all 32 teams (even the Jets) can be found here, and includes several variations for each club. We’ve posted some of our favorites below, and saved the best for last in the Patriots and Browns. Enjoy your new desktop wallpapers!
MORE NFL TEAM SIGILS AFTER THE JUMP
On September 20th, Showtime will air a new feature-length documentary entitled “LT: The Life & Times” about New York Giants hall of fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor.
Taylor is unquestionably one of the greatest to ever play the game of football, but has had a well-documented post-NFL fall from grace, including drug addiction and pleading guilty of third-degree rape in 2009 after having sex with a 16-year-old prostitute. The film promises to provide an unprecedented look at LT’s life on and off the field, “with never-before-heard stories from Taylor, his family and friends, his former teammates and coaches on his playing days with the New York Giants, as well as his infamous off-field challenges, including his trials, and the troubling times that have plagued him throughout his life”.
If this trailer is any indication, this should be must-see television. We know we’ll be setting our DVRs.
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
In their latest opus for DirecTV, the Manning Brothers have ventured into Lonely Island territory with this ridiculous rap video to promote the fact that you can now watch football on your phone as part of the NFL Sunday Ticket package.
The track, aptly named “Football On Your Phone”, is about as lame as you’d expect (“look at this guy using his phone as a phone. Your phone ain’t for callin’, your phone’s for footballin!”), but props to Peyton and Eli for fully committing to the gag with very little sense of ego or shame … and of course, for their totally awesome wigs.
I really don’t have much else to say about this one, as the video really speaks for itself, but it felt like it needed sharing.
This is pretty fun to watch.
Instead of making the trip to Radio City Music Hall, Syracuse OL Justin Pugh hosted a party with friends and family last night at his home in Pennsylvania to take in the proceedings at the 2013 NFL Draft. And as you can see from the video below, being surrounded by the ones you love can make the greatest moment of your life all that much more special.
Watch as Pugh – a lifelong Eagles fan – takes the call from the New York front office informing him that he’s the newest member of the Giants. As family members scramble to find the remote control, Pugh makes pleasantries with new head coach and fellow Orangeman Tom Coughlin, all while barely being able to contain his excitement over the phone. It’s certainly a stark contrast to the intensity and formality of the green room, where your every move is under a microscope for all the world to see. Heck, just ask Geno Smith.
But be sure to stick around to the end of the clip, because the moment he hangs up the phone (1:50) is pure magic, as his friends explode on Pugh in celebration … despite their conflicted feelings as Eagles fans. In fact, check out his buddy to the left at around :20 when Pugh says “That’s done with, I’m excited to become a Giant”. Poor guy goes from elation to confusion in .3 seconds once he realizes the implications of having to root for the Giants now. Classic.
This type of emotion is what the draft is all about, and if you don’t get goosebumps watching this, I don’t know what to tell you.
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
The folks over at ESPN’s always-awesome 30 for 30 documentary series have delivered yet again, this time with their newest short, “The Irrelevant Giant”, documenting the short but memorable career of Giants Fullback/Special Teams maven John Tuggle.
As the final pick of the 1983 draft out of California, Tuggle was dubbed “Mr. Irrelevant”, and naturally wasn’t expected to make much of an impact in the NFL. But rookie head coach Bill Parcells saw something special in Tuggle, who not only earned a spot on the team, but was names Special Teams player of the year for the Giants in his first year.
“For all the players that I’ve ever coached in my lifetime, there have been a few – John being among them – that had some attributes that you couldn’t see,” recalled Parcells in the documentary. “You had to gain an understanding of this guy’s determination, his will, those kinds of things. Just walking around you don’t gain an appreciation for anything like that. It has to be gained under duress, during times of pain, during times where we all have to go to those dark places and respond.”
Sadly, Tuggle was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in 1984, ultimately leading to his death in 1986. But even though his time was cut short, the impact Tuggle had on his teammates, fans – and particularly on hall-of-famer Parcells – can still be felt today.
WATCH VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
Martellus Bennett – aka “Black Unicorn” – saves a fan, gets the animated super hero treatment (VIDEO)
After the Giants’ 38-10 victory over the Green Bay Packers last Sunday, Bennett made headlines for saving a middle-aged man who fell from the stands when Bennett threw his gloves into the crowd. Afterward, Bennet said he “tapped into my inner super hero, which I do have”, quickly springing into action to catch the man before he could hit the ground.
“I’m usually a ninja, but my Spidey-senses told me he was going to take a fall, so I saved his life. He owes me his firstborn or something. Actually, I don’t want that. Maybe a sandwich or something.”
Well fortunately for us, Black Unicorn told the story to the guys at TheNOC, who give Bennett the animated super hero treatement, bringing his words to life through vivid, poorly drawn animation. It’s pretty great:
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal comes this inside look at what it takes to change over MetLife stadium from the Giants to the Jets for each team’s home games.
Since MetLife is the only stadium that’s shared by two teams, this is the only place in the country where crews have to deal with such extensive changes from week-to-week. To give you an idea, it takes 2 full 8-hour work days just to switch out the endzones, and that doesn’t include all the banners, merch stands, and everything else they need to change from blue to green.
Our old friend Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is back with his “Stone Cold Lock of the Century – Of The Week”, and this time he’s picking tomorrow’s Saints-Chiefs game. As a reminder, while we’re not gamblers ourselves, we generally recommend betting against whoever Carl picks.
But before he gets to his lock, Carl opines on the Giants-Bucs kneel down controversy (which we can hopefully stop talking about now), as well as the replacement referees and their impact on the game. As usual, great stuff from Carl and his Zubaz pants: