3
Nov
2009
VIDEO: Ted Ginn Jr. returns back-to-back kickoffs for TD
In case you missed it, here’s the video of Dolphins return man Ted Ginn Jr. single-handedly taking it to the NY Jets on Sunday, with consecutive kickoff returns of 100+ yards for scores.
He’s fast.
It marked the first time anyone had ever done that in the same NFL game, let alone in the same quarter. Crazy.
28
Sep
2009
Chad Pennington may be done for the year
Credit: Associated Press
Per ESPN’s Chris Mortenson, Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington may be done for the season after dislocating his throwing shoulder in yesterday’s 23-13 loss to the San Diego Chargers. He’s currently seeking a second opinion before undergoing a third major operation on his throwing arm.
“Chad (Pennington) is our leader,” wide receiver Greg Camarillo told the Associated Press. “Any injury to him is an injury to our offense.”
The injury serves as an opportunity for backup Chad Henne, the Dolphins’ 2008 2nd-round draft pick out of Michigan, who completed 10 of 19 passes for 92 yards and a pick in relief of Pennington. If Pennington sits out, Henne may start this Sunday, at home, against the Buffalo Bills.
Pennington has suffered a string of severe injuries during his 10-year playing career, and there are people out there who will wonder if this may be the end of Pennington’s career. It would be a shame. He is often overlooked, but he has been a gritty, tough competitor–not always the most physically gifted player on the field, but a motivated, team-first leader who isn’t afraid to run the show.
Who can forget his moment of redemption last season, ending the Jets’ season en route to leading the Dolphins to an 11-5 record and a playoff berth?
13
Sep
2009
Greg Camarillo caught the ball with his legs
Everyone – including us – is talking about the Stokley TD as the highlight of the season so far. But for my money, this catch by Dolphins WR Greg Camarillo today might be one of the wildest grabs I’ve ever seen:
Too bad the Dolphins lost to the Falcons, 19-7.
5
Sep
2009
NFL ISSUES SWINE FLU WARNING
Last week, the NFL Players Association’s website has released a memo to players about the autumn return of H1N1, aka “swine flu.” “H1N1 can easily spread in locker rooms,” said NFLPA Medical Director Dr. Thom Mayer. “We want to make sure we have the best advice possible to protect our players and their families, and we want to be prepared now, especially if—as many believe it will—H1N1 turns into a pandemic this fall.”
In addition, the memo states that “the NFLPA and the NFL have retained two well-known infectious disease specialists to write an infectious disease quarterly newsletter focusing on topics that specifically affect NFL players and club personnel. The newsletter offers preventative measures for clubs and helps team physicians formulate a treatment plan to control the spread of H1N1 when it affects their teams.”
In late August, a pair of Miami Dolphin cornerbacks, Sean Smith and Jason Allen, were suspected of having swine flu. When the story was reported, the Dolphins were quick to respond–saying that they were only “testing” the players for the illness, and that results would be kept private.
MSNBC reported this past week that “The World Health Organization says at least 625 people have been reported dead from swine flu in the last week. That’s more than 20 percent of the 2,837 known deaths since the novel virus first emerged in Mexico and the United States earlier this year.” In addition, WHO estimates suggest that the virus could eventually infect 2 billion people, or a third of the world’s population.
While it’s easy for fans to dismiss this, especially if it might interrupt their fun, but an autumn pandemic could have an impact on the NFL. There are others, however, who believe that the swine flu virus has a more menacing purpose.
23
Aug
2009
DeAngelo Williams does his best Barry Sanders impression
In case you missed it, this 22-yd TD scamper by Panthers RB DeAngelo Williams last night against the Dolphins was clearly the best play of the weekend, and might be one of the better runs you’ll see this year:
This run came in the first quarter, so it was theoretically against the Dolphins first string defense. But Miami went on to win the game, so I’m sure new team co-owner Gloria Estefan had some choice words for her club at halftime.
12
Aug
2009
Dolphins continue to set new standards for awful fight songs
If only the Dolphins had enlisted Andy Samberg for this gig
It has been a busy off-season for the defending AFC East Champion Miami Dolphins. Not that they’ve done anything particularly notable to improve their football club, but owner Stephen Ross sure has been busy rubbing elbows with the South Florida music community!!!
First, Jimmy Buffett became a minority owner in the Dolphins and wrote a horrendous fight song for the team. Then, both Gloria Estefan and Marc Anthony purchased stakes in the franchise, ensuring that Miami had cornered the market on mediocre pop stars in the NFL.
Well, it appears the Dolphins weren’t satisfied there, and have now enlisted auto-tuning hip-hop sensation T-Pain to craft a new anthem for the club … and it’s even worse than you could have possibly imagined.
It’s like they didn’t even try. T-Pain just threw in an 1987 video game soundtrack on a loop and had his 3-yr old nephew write the lyrics.
This begs the question, though, has anyone consulted Bill Parcells in all of this?!? I mean, if Sundays in Miami are filled with this crap, followed by “Conga” and “Margaritaville” to psych out their opponents … I don’t suspect Landshark Stadium is going to be an intimidating place for rival teams to play.
Unless they are worried that the rhythm is, in fact, gonna get them. In that case, they should be afraid. Very afraid.
Cleanse your aural palette with a much better T-Pain joint after the jump: The Lonely Island’s “On A Boat”
25
Jul
2009
Ricky Williams: Holistic Shaman of the NFL
Ricky Williams at Acupuncture Massage College. (Michael Francis Mcelroy for The New York Times)
The New York Times has an interesting look at what Dolphins RB Ricky Williams has been up to this off-season … namely, studying to be a massage therapist in a Florida strip mall.
It’s just the latest outpost on Williams’ long, strange journey, which has brought him from Heisman Trophy winner and #1 draft pick to the world’s most infamous pothead, and most recently, to a yoga practicing, world-traveling spiritual seeker.
What once seemed like a strange series of encounters, Williams hopes to one day fully integrate. He envisions becoming something like an N.F.L. shaman, responsible to a team or players for a holistic approach — body, mind, soul — to healing.
“The more I pay attention to what’s going on inside, the more I realize that how I feel, and how I react to what I feel, really creates my reality,” Williams said. “And the more in touch I can be, the better chance I have to control what’s happening in my life.”
And so that’s what Williams is doing these days. Trying to take control over his life. He’s returning to play for the AFC East Champion Dolphins this year, having rushed for 683 yards last season. But at the same time, Williams has also taken the time to engage in the search for self, and to grow as a human being.
For all the jokes that can be made at Williams’ expense, he’s always come across as genuine and humble in his search for truth. And regardless of what happens on the football field, it seems that Williams has achieved a level of perspective and self-awareness that eludes most.
“At the core, we’re all spiritual beings,” Williams said. “It’s something that I had been pushing down my whole life. The search for meaning, I guess, the whispering of the soul.”
Not exactly a soundbite you’d expect to get from most NFL players.
10
Jun
2009
Rex Ryan is as crazy as the ol’ man!
Like father, like son ... right down to the man-boobs and turkey neck
Remember how batshit crazy Buddy Ryan was? Remember when he would rip into Tom Landry, in an effort to stoke the flames of division rivalry? Remember when he was with the Houston Oilers and punched Kevin Gilbride – a member of his own coaching staff – in the face on the sidelines during a game (if not, video after the jump)?!? Well, it looks like the apple don’t fall too far from the turnip truck, if you know what I mean.
Rookie New York Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan is already stirring up trouble in the AFC East, and is deeply embroiled in a war of words with Dolphins LB Channing Crowder. It all started when Ryan made a seemingly innocuous statement that he wasn’t afraid of anyone in the division:
“I never came here to kiss Bill Belichick’s rings,” Ryan said in an interview on WFAN. “I came here to win, let’s put it that way…. I’m certainly not intimidated by New England or anybody else.”
And even though he didn’t mention anything specifically about the Dolphins, Crowder took offense to the fact that Ryan was calling out the Patriots, not Miami – the defending AFC East Champs – as the team to beat in the division.
Crowder fired back at Ryan:
“Oh he’s going crazy. He’s going absolutely nuts,” Crowder said. “I know it’s his first chance to be a head coach, and I know he’s excited about life. But I’ve never played a football game in June in my life. So congratulations to him. He’s the OTA Super Bowl winner.”
Zing!!!
Your play, Mr. Ryan:
“I don’t know this Channing Crowder. All I know is that he’s all tatted up, so I guess I ought to be nervous about him. If I was younger, I’d probably handle him myself.”
Alright! Now we’re approaching junior high school level!!
Continue reading after the jump for more trash talk, and video of Buddy Ryan vs Kevin Gilbride
10
May
2009
I Hate Jimmy Buffett’s Phins Song
We can only pray that the Landshark will choose his next victim wisely
As much as it pains me to post this, it only seems appropriate in light of the recent news that the Miami Dolphins’ stadium is being re-named Landshark Stadium after corporate partner (and Jimmy Buffett’s beer company), Landshark Lager [South Florida Business Journal]. So, even though it’s only a one-year deal, and even though Buffett probably has no clue about pro football, it only makes sense that he would bastardize one of his “hits” with Dolphin’s-oriented lyrics, to maximize the marketing push behind the sponsorship.
So anyway, here’s this song … it was originally called “Fins”, so thankfully Buffett didn’t have to hurt himself trying to re-work it too much. I didn’t make it past the 1:35 mark because my ears started bleeding, so you’ll have to let me know if it’s any good. All I know is Jimmy couldn’t be reading the lyrics off of the floor and more obviously, and there’s a poor woman in the front row dressed as a parrot, but she looks WAY more like Toucan Sam.
But at least there are cheerleaders jumping around in there, so you can turn down the volume and just watch the girlies shake if you prefer:
Is it over yet? Ugggh.
As awful as this whole thing is, it really comes as no surprise. Buffett has been more about marketing than music for decades now, and would give Gene Simmons a run for his money as biggest sellout in music history.
And the marketing machine is already in full gear, planning “Margaritaville” pre and post-game parties in the parking lots, with Landshark lager for all and this “Phins Song” blasting through the air on repeat, blanketing the tailgate in a thick stench of mediocrity. So now people will be getting sick before, during and after the game from the barrage of nauseating football, beer and music.
Dolphins/Landshark/Parrothead Fever … CATCH IT!
3
May
2009
Land Shark Stadium – Home of the Dolphins
Candy gram.
In the latest news item that makes me want to smash my head against a table repeatedly, the Miami Dolphins are likely to re-name their home field Land Shark Stadium, after corporate sponsor Land Shark Lager.
What’s Land Shark Lager, you ask? Well, it’s the pet project of musician Jimmy Buffett (along with his deep-pocketed friends at Anheuser Busch). Yes, the same Jimmy Buffett of “Margaritaville”, “Cheeseburger in Paradise”, and dozens of other mediocre, watered-down songs for old white people trying to re-live the vacation they took to Key West in the 70′s.
From the Miami Herald:
To accessorize the stadium’s fifth name since it opened as Joe Robbie Stadium in 1987, Ross wants to open a Margaritaville-themed area inside the park.
Ross apparently has been searching for a minority owner, and he reportedly has approached Buffett. The deal could give Buffett incentive to invest. A source close to the talks said the two sides discussed keeping the deal short-term, perhaps only through the end of the upcoming Dolphin season. The stadium will host next season’s Super Bowl in February.
With stadium naming rights becoming the revenue source du jour for professional sports teams, this really should come as no suprise to anyone. We’ve already got Heinz Field (Steelers), Monster Park (49ers), Quicken Loans Arena (Cavaliers), and my personal favorite, Jobing.com Arena (NHL’s Phoenix Coyotes).
It’s really only a matter of time before the Raiders are playing in Depends Undergarments Stadium. Which would be quite fitting, actually.
After the jump, get a laugh with the classic SNL Land Shark sketch, and South Park giving Jimmy Buffett the treatment:
