14
Mar
2011
TheDarkHorse’s 2011 Mock Draft – Picks 11-20
2015 just called to tell us that J.J. Watt is the steal of this draft. (Source: Madison.com)
For picks 1-5, go here.
For picks 6-10, go here.
11. Houston Texans — J.J. Watt, DE, Wisconsin: We get so many of these projections wrong. The “sure lock” winds up a flaming bust, and players we’re ignoring today — guys who won’t even be drafted — will light up the league. I believe we’ll look back on this 2011 NFL Draft five years from now and call J.J. Watt a top 5 pick. I loved his presence, intensity and motor at the combine. Wade Phillips‘ 3-4 defense is the perfect landing spot for Watt, and a good environment for this hard-working, self-made player. He worked himself onto Wisconsin’s roster, paying his own way at the start of his tenure — delivering Pizza Hut to save up dough. He’s no prima donna. He’s a coachable workhorse who did the requisite work at Wisconsin to make the switch from tight end to defensive lineman. Watt is the steal of this draft at No. 11. Sometime these midround picks are where you find the real gems — where less pressure is placed on the incoming player, as well. Houston and Watt are an excellent match.
12. Minnesota Vikings — Julio Jones, WR, Alabama: The Vikings have been vocal about finding a quarterback in this draft. I see a potential trade up — or down — to get their guy. There was a time when it appeared Minnesota at No. 12 could snag Auburn’s Cam Newton, but the hype machine’s in full swing and I project him to go no less than No. 1 to the Carolina Panthers. He’s the type of passer that’s going to require time to develop, coming from a spread, and Leslie Frazier would love the challenge. There are other possibilities at quarterback for the Vikings — and all of them are better than Brett Favre right now, who’s back on his farm tilling soil. It’s time for a new start in Minnesota. In this mock, with no trades — and Jake Locker a reach — I project the Vikings to jump on Jones, who had an excellent combine and would be a good-value selection here. Sidney Rice could bolt via free agency, so Jones addresses a potential need as well. We all saw what happened to Percy Harvin when Rice was out of the offense — they need a No. 1 guy in there to give the passing game a shot.
Picks 13-20 after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »
8
Dec
2010
WEEK 14 PICKS: SYLVIA PLATH EDITION
Sylvia has some things to say about week 14
Winners in BOLD.
All italics taken from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath.
Indianapolis @ Tennessee:
“But even as I ran from room to room, trying to close the fourteen or fifteen windows on the side where the rain was coming in, it was too late, and the stills wet with puddles, and the water was collecting in streams along the floor.“
Cleveland @ Buffalo:
“It is the bold, the loud-mouthed, the cruel, the vital, the revolutionaries, the mighty in arms and will, who march over the soft patient flesh that lies beneath their cleated boots.”
Cincinnati @ Pittsburg:
“I have been feeling like a ‘new person.’ Like a shot of brandy went home, a sniff of cocaine, hit me where I live and I am alive & so there. Better than shock treatment.”
Green Bay @ Detroit:
“Another day in Hell”
Denver @ Arizona:
“Get a job. Learn shorthand at night. NOTHING EVER REMAINS THE SAME.”
"See you jerks in night school!" (Photo: AP/Chris Schneider)
Seattle @ San Francisco:
“Please, think – snap out of this. Believe in some beneficent force beyond your own limited self. God, god, god: where are you? I want you, need you: the belief in you and love and mankind.”
Philadelphia @ Dallas:
“How long, since I noticed stars; no longer, now, mere inane pinpricks on a smothering sky of cheap cloth.“
NY Giants @ Minnesota:
“A lifetime is not long enough. Nor youth to old age long enough. Immortality and permanence be damned. Sure I want them, but they are nonexistent, and won’t matter when I rot underground. All I want to say is: I made the best of a mediocre job. It was a good fight while it lasted. And so life goes.”
Miami @ NY Jets:
“The first day of swelter: grey, wet, warm rain making a slither of streets. A dog barks far off. The milk bottle sweat drops, the butter slumps. The house begins to look untidy again.”
Tampa Bay @ Washington:
“Amazing how money would simplify problems like ours. We wouldn’t go wild at all, but write & travel & study all our lives – which I hope we do anyway. And have a house apart, by the side of no road, with country about & a study & walls of bookcases.”
28
Nov
2010
Sunday Morning NFL Notebook
Early tailgaters gather at The New Meadlowlands before a crucial showdown with the 6-4 Jacksonville Jaguars. (Source: Pat Hanlon, N.Y. Giants)
¶ Quarterbacks Donovan McNabb and Brett Favre square off today during a season which has seen aging veteran passers struggle. McNabb is 4-2 vs. Favre, but has yet to face Favre post-Green Bay.
ESPN’s Ed Werder reports that Favre will start Sunday’s game in Washington despite battling what could be pneumonia. Favre told Werder that he required a steroid pack and an injection Saturday, and missed the first hour of team meetings because he couldn’t drag himself out of bed.
For his career, Favre is 70-of-118 passing for 802 yards, 4 touchdowns and 8 interceptions against the Redskins, according to the ‘Skins Twitter page. Favre hasn’t played at FedEx Field since 2004.
¶ Judd Zulgad of the Star Tribune reports that Vikings wide receiver Bernard Berrian (groin) and cornerback Chris Cook (knee) are both inactive for today’s game.
¶ BTW, don’t assume we rate this Redskins-Vikings tilt a big deal. It’s not. What it is, is the meeting of two battered, lost teams — neither who have lived up to expectations this season.
¶ For my money, the game of the day is the Jacksonville Jaguars visiting the New York Giants, in what amounts to a solid test for both teams. The result will tell us a lot about both 6-4 teams as they fight for position in the playoff race.
¶ The Plain Dealer’s Mary Kay Cabot reports that the Browns’ Josh Cribbs is active against the Carolina Panthers. Quarterback Colt McCoy and cornerback Eric Wright are inactive.
¶ It will be interesting to see how the Denver Broncos respond today against the St. Louis Rams. The Broncos and coach Josh McDaniels were each fined $50,000 after Broncos’ video operations director Steve Scarnecchia violated NFL rules by taping a six-minute portion of a San Francisco 49ers walkthrough on Oct. 30, the day before the teams played each other in London.
MORE AFTER THE BREAK
14
Nov
2010
Jaguars beat Texans on hail mary “play of the year” (VIDEO)
Mike Thomas in the right place at the right time (Photo: Getty Images via FanHouse)
It’s already being called the “play of the year”. The Jacksonville Jaguars beat the Houston Texans 31-24 today on a last-second, 50-yard touchdown pass from David Garrard to Mike Thomas. The Jags got a little help from above on the play, with Thomas reeling in the hail mary attempt after it was batted down by Texans DB Glover Quin. Glover did exactly what all football players are taught by trying to knock the pass down … unfortunately he knocked the ball right into Thomas’ awaiting arms.
The game was tied at 24 and looked to be headed to overtime, but Garrard took one last shot with three seconds left on the clock, heaving the ball toward the end zone as time expired. Here’s the play, complete with Gus Johnson hysterics:
Afterwards, the Jaguars claim that it was a play they run regularly in practice, with Thomas playing the role of “scoop” guy, trailing the play in case of any deflections. The 5’8″ Thomas is the (edit:) second-smallest player on the Jaguars roster, but he was the biggest guy on the field this afternoon, finishing with eight catches for 149 yards (both career highs) to go with the game-winning score.
The win lifts Jacksonville to 5-4 and keeps them in the hunt in the tight AFC South, where Houston (4-5) now resides at the bottom of the barrel after three straight losses.
4
Nov
2010
VIDEO: Lap Dance at Cowboys Game far more interesting than game itself
(Image via Deadspin)
This video of an unidentified super-cutie giving her boyfriend a lap dance at last Sunday’s Cowboys/Jags game has been making the rounds for the past few days … and who are we to buck the trend?!?
The clip starts off with the drunken couple making out at Cowboys Stadium and quickly progresses until the young lady starts to give everyone in her section a show. But sadly, security breaks it up as soon before we get to see anything good things get too out of hand.
And clearly, if you’re a fan of the 1-6 Cowboys suffering through the season, this sort of thing is WAY more interesting than following the action on the field:
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP Read the rest of this entry »
28
Sep
2010
4:30 Tuesday Afternoon Phone Call: Trent Edwards and Terrell Owens
Do they have Buffalo Wings in Jacksonville?
Trent Edwards: Hey, TO it’s me Trent – got a moment?
Terrell Owens: Losman! What is happening! Send me some wings? Where are my Buffalo wings? FedEx them… do it now!
TE: TO – the Bills let me go…I’m packing up right now. I can’t send you shit. Listen, I got a favor to ask.
TO: Why are they called Buffalo wings anyway? Like have you ever seen a Buffalo in Buffalo? They should call them something else… like Fat People Really Love These Yummy Things Wings- that makes some sense right there. I tell you Trent life sure can be funny!
TE: Right… this was a mistake, looks like my agent is on the other line – maybe the Jets will pick me up.
TO: The Jets! There is another one… what is that… they should be called the New Jersey Hobos.
TE: The Hobos…?
TO: The Bindle Sticks!
TE: What?
TO: The Wayne County Hoovervilles!
TE: Holy God did you watch PBS last night?
TO: Hell yeah buddy – my cat, Stevie Nicks and me!
TE: This conversation isn’t really working out
TO: Hang on I’m cinching up my pants! Oh nice and cinchy!
TE: Listen, TO, can you just please put in a good word for me with Marvin?
TO: Marvin…
TE: Marvin Lewis… your head coach.
TO: Wait… really?
TE: Well can you just let him know I’m available?
TO: Tell that to Stevie Nicks!
TE: Oh no… I really don’t want to talk to your cat.
TO: Meow?
TE: TO, It’s been a long week; I know that’s you.
TO: Meow… it’s me the greatest cat ever! Stevie Nicks.
TE: I really need to go.
TO: How can Stevie Nicks help you Yale man?
TE: It’s Stanford… I went to Stanford.
TO: My friend Socks went there too, meow!
TE: Bye Terrell – my agent is texting about the Jags…
TO: Meow!!
TE: (hangs up)
16
Dec
2009
VIDEO: Jaguars Mascot gets stuck hanging above Alltel Stadium
The life of an NFL mascot is a topsy-turvy one. One minute you’re hanging out with 15 hot cheerleaders, then you’re playing football against Pee Wees, and the next thing you know you’re getting shot out of a cannon through a ring of fire. Anything in the name of entertaining the fans.
Here, Jacksonville Jaguars mascot Jaxson De Ville attempts to zip line across Alltel Stadium – while hanging upside down, no less. Unfortunately for Jaxson, he gets stuck about halfway across, and hangs there for over 3 minutes while crews try and get him down:
It’s no coincidence that tomorrow night’s Colts game is the first home sellout of the season, which means that they’ve also avoided a TV blackout for the first time this year. The fans have spoken. More dangerous stunts by Jaxson that put his life in peril! Expect a shark tank on the field tommorrow night.
[Via HotClicks]
15
Oct
2009
Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated because of a Booty Call
Original Photoshop/hack job by ArtieFufkin
Jaguars WR Mike Sims-Walker ruined many a fantasy football team’s weekend on Sunday when he was deactivated prior to kickoff for violating an unspecified team rule.
The Florida Times Union vaguely reported earlier this week that Sims-Walker had broken the team’s itinerary on their road trip to Seattle. Yesterday, they went a step further, explaining exactly what Mikey was up to:
Sims-Walker missed bed check Friday night due to a visit with a female friend that went a little long, according to an NFL source, who described the situaton by saying, “undefeated and untied.”
Get it? “Undefeated! And untied!”, if you know what I mean … nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!!! (actually, I’m not sure that metaphor makes any sense at all, but whatever)
Well Mike, we hope it was worth it. We’d like to imagine that it was a hilarious set of circumstances, much like the classic 1997 Jamie Foxx/Tommy Davidson vehicle, “Booty Call”. He probably got caught up in the Saran Wrap.
4
May
2009
Tory Holt’s Finger Just Ain’t Right
New Jacksonville Jaguars WR Tory Holt visited with the local media recently, and took the opportunity to show them and the rest of the world his freakish, mutant left middle finger.
I’m not really sure what to say about this video, except you might want to wait until your breakfast has settled before watching.
21
Apr
2009
Tory Holt to ruin his legacy in Jacksonville
The Jacksonville Jaguars signed WR Tory Holt to a 3-year deal on Monday, ensuring that the long-time Rams star will end his career in relative anonymity, floundering in northern Florida. Much like Jerry Rice finishing his career with the Broncos, Brett Favre going to the Jets, and Emmitt Smith to Arizona after a career in Dallas, its pretty much a guarantee that this won’t end too well for Holt.
The Jags were desperate for a WR after waiving Matt Jones and Jerry Porter, and Holt certainly helps to fill that void. And now, people are saying that Jacksonville won’t need to select a WR with the #8 pick in this weekend’s draft. But if the Jags relying on a 32-year-old to be their only real receiving threat, they’re going to be in trouble. And after a hall-of-fame career in St. Louis, Holt will likely fade into the sunset after a mediocre couple of years in Jacksonville.
Kosar as a Dolphin (Photo by Scott Halleran/Allsport)
NFL.com has an interesting photo gallery of players who ended their career in unfamiliar uniforms. It’s pretty wild to look at some of these … it’s almost as though we’ve blocked out these chapters in great players’ careers, and choose to remember them in their prime, with their long-time club. Here are a few swan songs that I didn’t remember:
- Art Monk – Eagles (1 year)
- Bernie Kosar – Dolphins (3 years)
- Joe Namath – Rams (1 year)
- Eric Dickerson – Falcons (1 year)
- Tony Dorsett – Broncos (1 year)
- Johnny Unitas – Chargers (1 year)
