20
Jan
2010
Crazy Jets fan names his son “J.E.T.S”
OK, so it’s not quite that bad.
Last year, this superfan named his son “Jake Edward Thomas Schonberg,” so that he’d have the initials J.E.T.S. And now that the Jets have made the AFC Championship game, of course, much of the credit must be given to little JET … right? Yesterday the Schonbergs appeared on ESPN First Take, and dad seemed way less batsh!t insane than I expected:
This kid is obviously going to grow up to be a Giants fan.
28
Dec
2009
VIDEO: ESPN’s NFL Images of the Decade
The boys in Bristol did a pretty good job with this one … except for the Goo Goo Dolls soundtrack, that is:
17
Nov
2009
SportsCenter: The Chattering Din
Goatboy = better than Dilfer (Image: TheSportsHernia)
I was almost done with SportsCenter after Favre un-retired again, but after Monday, I am done. I will not be watching. They are idiots.
First this:
“Why would Favre come back for 20 million, his legacy, he is waffling, the fans, the Jets, blah, blah, blah.” – WHAT THE F$%K!!! IS this Russia? Jesus f*%k. Who in their right mind doesn’t come back for that money, with that running back, and defense, in a dome when he cant play in the cold anymore… how is there even a tiny hole in the move?
The Vikings could go with Farve, or they could have gone with TJ or SAGE F*%KING Rosenfels who is a homeless man’s 2004 Drew Bledsoe. Jesus Christ. No Brett, stay on your farm, stay in your red shorts, and don’t go to a great situation with more money then any of us will EVER see in our lifetimes. Don’t set up your family, and their families, and their families for life, don’t be a wealthy man, don’t take a chance, don’t gamble, and don’t be a f*cking man – F*CK YOU. If I was an athlete that played at the caliber of some of these aging stars, I would play until I was on the bench in the CFL… why quit what you love to do – fail, who gives a shit – Brett Farve, and his family are set for life. What MAN doesn’t do that for his soul as a competitor and his family? Turn down what was is it, 14 million dollars?
Save it for someone else Trent
Trent f%#king Dilfer that’s who. What a small-minded f*ck. I just wow… wow wow wow. SportsCenter is like a Ayn Rand villain – Don’t do what you are good at, even if you fail, because it make US feel bad to see you succeed. What are we Poland?
THEN THIS? This!:
“Why would Belichick, go for it on 4th and two? Why, what an awful move!!” WHAT THE F*CK, the defense is winded Peyton Manning is the new Brady with 2 minutes to go, who the fuck doesn’t think that Brady can’t get 2 yards on a 4th down, and the average NFL play is 4 yards… F*CK YOU! Jesus f**king Christ. Honestly the football coverage on that network is f*cking stupid, always conservative, goes for cheap jokes, and says nothing new. Trent Dilfer… TRENT DILFER doesn’t like what Bill f**king Belichick called? Are you kidding me?
Why would anyone tune into hear that? Why? I know I wont. I wont ever again. Not ever f*cking again. That network is dead to me. ReadAndReact is where I go for news.
17
Aug
2009
Pre-Season MNF – Giants/Panthers game blog
Osi Umenyiora returns to the Giants after missing 2008 with an injury (Photo: NY Daily News)
Since this is the first pre-season game that I’m actually going to watch in earnest, I figured I’d keep track of my thoughts during the game … or at least the first half of it.
Warning: I’m an unabashed Giants fan, but I’ll try to play this relatively straight. It’s only pre-season, so let’s not get too carried away by anything we see tonight … mainly, you’re praying for no injuries, and to see that your vets look sharp, and which newcomers have a chance to make an impact.
I’ll be keeping an eye on the Giants’ receiving corps – especially rookies Hakeem Nicks and Ramses Barden – who are going to need to step up big this year. The Giants defense is banged up, with all 3 of their FA acquisitions (DE Chris Canty, DT Rocky Bernard and LB Michael Boley) sitting this one out. Also of note on the injured list, WR Steve Smith – both of them, actually.
Alright, it’s football time. Let’s do this.
8:06pmET: Suzy Kolber interviews Eli Manning on the sidelines. Eli is still a bit of a mushmouth, but he says all the right things. He kinda reminds me of Nuke Laloush in Bull Durham. “We’re just gonna take it one game at a time, and the good lord willin’ …”
1st Quarter
8:08pm: Panthers start with the ball. DeAngelo Williams gets the first carry for Carolina. Jon Gruden is already better than Kornheiser ever was.
8:09pm: Giants D get a 3-and-out on the first series. Strong start for what should be one of the best units in the league. Mario Manningham gets a big punt return.
8:11pm: Brandon Jacobs gets the first 2 carries. I bought a #27 Jacobs jersey in the off-season. First offensive jersey I’ve ever owned. Jacobs is just a beast.
8:12pm: Eli Manning fires a bullet to Manningham on 3rd down, called back for Illegal Formation, but still nice to see. Incompletion on the next play leads to a Feagles punt.
8:16pm: Nice to see Justin Tuck and Osi Uymeniora back together. Giants will be using 5-man DL fronts this season. Osi gets a sack/strip as I type this. Nasty.
8:24pm: Brandon Jacobs gets out in the open field and runs over his first DB of the season. Poor #31 Richard Marshall is the victim for Carolina.
The Giants running game appears to be fully operational (Photo: NY Daily News)
8:25pm: Domenick Hixon gets a big gain on the bubble screen. And then Ahmad Bradshaw finishes off the drive with a 20-yd TD run. The Panthers just cant tackle. 7-0 Giants
23
Jul
2009
Cold diss: ESPN’s AFC North preview completely ignores the Browns…
Thanks to Barry McBride at www.theobr.com for tipping us off to the fact that ESPN’s recent AFC North preview chronicles the Steelers, Ravens, and Bengals… without saying a single word about the Cleveland Browns.
I love it when it’s blatant.
9
Jun
2009
Going for broke in Minnesota
One intriguing crumb of the terminally dumb storyline around Brett Favre’s courting of the Minnesota Vikings: Favre would open the season facing his former coach, Eric Mangini, in the Dawg Pound. (I said “crumb”.)
There’s been a fair amount of speculation that Favre and Mangini (a) didn’t get along; (b) were best friends; (c) aren’t speaking to each other; (d) named children after each other, etc. Some have pointed fingers at Favre for helping to end Mangini’s career with the Jets. Mangini and Favre have taken the high road on this one, both have moved on, and there’s realistically very little drama here.
(I can’t believe I’m dedicating space to the Favre Saga, but…) The Vikings are falling into a boring, seen-from-a-distance trap here.
While Favre superficially thrusts Minnesota onto the map (through increased, yet unearned media exposure [see Dallas Cowboys]), his presence puts a young Vikings team on hold for a year [see 2008 N.Y. Jets].
If you’re head coach Brad Childress, do you have the luxury of time?
Under Childress, the Vikes have finished 6-10, 8-8, and 10-6: that’s solid progression. Childress, today, sits at .500, with 24 career wins and losses. With the (increasingly competitive) NFC North up for grabs, would you latch on to a 19th-year quarterback in this pivotal season?
Childress is looking beyond what most of us know. He grew up in the West Coast offense, influenced heavily by Andy Reid and, by default, Mike Holmgren. These are men who see incredible value in Favre’s ability to engineer the West Coast attack, no matter his age.
Experienced head coaches have been known to gravitate toward end-of-career, wisdom-filled quarterbacks. Moreover, what are the alternatives? Childress may counter the (now annual) Brett backlash by arguing that a 50-year-old Favre is better than the ragtag, wandering motley crew of John David Booty, Sean Glennon, Tarvaris Jackson, and Sage Rosenfels.
Per ESPN, if the 39-year-old Favre doesn’t agree to play for Minnesota by week’s end, the deal could be off. If that happens, there’s been talk (or rumor) that the Vikings might pursure Browns QB Derek Anderson (not recent talk, mind you). If not Anderson, someone else may find their way into the Vikings’ fold.
Bottom line: That Childress is going after Favre, surgery and all, does not suggest confidence in Minnesota’s current state of affairs on offense.
Tarvaris Jackson (7) and John David Booty (4) may need to wait another year to win the hearts and minds of football fans everywhere.
18
May
2009
Gruden to replace Kornheiser on MNF
Your new Monday Night Football team! (Photo: KissingSuzyKolber)
ESPN announced today that former Bucs and Raiders head coach Jon Gruden will replace Tony Kornheiser on Monday Night Football. Gruden will join Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski in the booth, and hope to have a longer tenure than previous failed color commentators Dennis Miller, Joe Theisman, and most recently, Kornheiser. And even though Gruden has relatively little experience on camera, it would be hard to do worse than his predecessor.
From the beginning, the Kornheiser experiment seemed doomed to fail. on Pardon the Interruption, he brings incisive, cutting analysis to a wide variety of sports. On MNF, he was just another braying talking head, blathering on about almost anything except what was actually happening on the field in front of him.
So Kornheiser decided to step down from MNF, although he will still continue on PTI. But the reason TK won’t be calling games anymore might come as a surprise to you: it was because of his fear of flying!
I am totally grateful for the MNF opportunity that I truly enjoyed the last three seasons,” he said. “I feel we got better each year. My fear of planes is legendary and sadly true. When I looked at the upcoming schedule it was the perfect storm that would’ve frequently moved me from the bus to the air. I kept looking at the schedule the past month and wanted to find a way to quietly extricate myself.
So yeah, it had nothing to do with the fact that Kornheiser sucked ass. Even though John Madden made a career out of calling games and criss-crossing the country on the Madden Cruiser bus, Kornheiser simply couldn’t sack up and make it happen (or better yet, pop a Xanax and get on the friggin plane!). Yup, that makes perfect sense.
30
Apr
2009
I Heart NFL Network
NFL Network analyst Brian Baldinger expresses our feelings toward Comcast
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BREAKING UPDATE- 6:10PM ET
The Associated Press is reporting that “Comcast Corp. will continue carrying the NFL Network even after their contract expires at midnight, as negotiations continue.”
We did it!!! Comcast folded! We stuck it to the man! Viva la Revolucion!!!
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The NFL Network has been in a long-running dispute with Comcast cable, which is coming to a head when Comcast removes the network from its programming tomorrow, May 1st. Barring a last-minute agreement, Comcast subscribers will lose NFLN at 11:59pm tonight.
At the heart of the feud: Comcast does not carry the NFL Network as part of its basic package, charging a monthly premium to access the channel as part of its digital sports tier. Comcast wants to continue the agreement under the same terms. The NFL Network refuses to agree to a contract that would mean remaining on the sports tier.
Donovan is equally shocked that Comcast is pulling NFLN
You can read both sides of the argument in this Washington Examiner piece, which presents the cases from executives at both behemoth corporate entities. NFL Network CEO Steve Borstein points out that Comcast makes cage-fighting and bull-riding available to nine times as many subscribers as the NFL Network, even though the network draws far more viewers:
Comcast discriminates against networks like NFL Network because we are independent. Do you know why you get the Golf Channel and Versus on a basic level of cable service? Both are owned by Comcast, which makes its own channels broadly available.
Do you wonder why the recently launched MLB Network is broadly available and offered to fans without an extra monthly fee? Once again, the answer is Comcast has an ownership interest in the MLB Network.
I am an unabashed NFL Network lover, and the fact that I will no longer be able to spend time with my dearest during the off-season and beyond is breaking my heart in two.
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UPDATE:
I just found this awesome draft recap by Pat Kirwan on NFL.com, which includes a ton of NFL Network footage (preceded by a ton of annoying sprint ads). But this is a great piece, with capsules on every team. So, if you want to get an idea of what you’re missing on ESPN …
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OK, now you can read on for my story:
24
Apr
2009
Countdown to the Draft: 1 day
ESPNs draft coverage has been known to induce seizures
Alright … it’s almost time to get into full geek/sloth mode and spend the next 2 days on the couch & computer for the NFL Draft! Woo-hoo!
Deadspin.com has posted their 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo, which includes tons of ridiculous/helpful information for this weekend’s draft, as well as this incredibly sage advice for ESPN & NFL Network:
Ten Quick Ways To Improve The Draft Telecast (from Deadspin)
- Increase the number of prospects invited to New York to 30. Make them all sit on stage until their name is called to step up.
- Wiretap all draftees’ cell phones.
- Fire everyone on ESPN set but Tirico and Kiper.
- All draft picks announced by drunken fans of respective teams and/or Chairman Kaga from Iron Chef.
- Force the Top 10 prospects to live in a house together between the combine and the draft and film it. Right before the draft, have them each vote on who they think should be the top pick (they can’t vote for themselves). Winner with the most votes gets $500,000.
- Tits (preferably Kelli Croyle’s).
- Announce combine drug test results right before draft begins.
- Force teams to show their draft boards once the draft has ended.
- All seventh round picks decided by fan poll.
- Ritual Pussycat Doll sacrifice to hooded cobra.
Here are a few more links to help you get ready for the big day:
-
Quinn after finally getting the call up
Pro Football Weekly’s final player rankings for the 2009 draft, regardless of position
- NFL.com’s Mock Draft Central, including the latest from Pat Kirwan … if you’re into that sort of thing
- With Leather wonders who will be this year’s Brady Quinn, and be left floundering in the green room on national TV, waiting for their name to be called
- And finally, in case the draft just isn’t your bag, Bootleger brings us their list of Things Better than Watching the NFL Draft
8
Apr
2009
Why rush the Braylon Edwards trade?
As Artie pointed out in his post last night, Braylon Edwards to the New York Giants has no actual substance yet. The Browns, under Mangini, have successfully kept a lid on every free agent signing, every release, and the trade of Kellen Winslow. Nobody knew about the Winslow deal until it happened–there were distant rumors beforehand, but they were theoretical, based on Winslow’s contract, and how the new regime saw him fitting in. Nobody called the Bucs trade.
Items things to consider here: (1) Mangini wants the Cleveland Browns roster filled with his guys: team-first, workmanlike players who give all to the Browns. This likely played into Winslow’s departure. We are unsure what Mangini’s real take on Braylon is, but the hot/cold receiver is not viewed as a team guy by some. (2) Braylon’s contract runs out after 2009. This may be Cleveland’s only chance to get anything for him. Mangini and Kokinis are mining this team for value and trade value, anything that will allow them to get their guys in-house quickly. This is why we’re hearing all the trade talk–value, value, value. (3) The Giants clearly need a receiver and Braylon fits like a glove; The New York scene is perfect for Braylon, and he’s less likely to shoot himself in a nightclub than his predecessor. (4) Don’t expect this trade to happen before Draft Day. If the Giants can only offer their 1st and 5th, the Browns will look for a better deal, pushing the Giants to sweeten it. The terms, as suggested, are titlted heavily in the favor of New York, which suggests rumor and inaccuracy. Mangini and Kokinis are *listening* to trade offers for players like Edwards, Quinn, and Anderson, but not seeking them out. If this is all New York is willing to give, don’t look for the Browns to rush a trade. (5) ON THAT NOTE, GIANTS FANS: Contrary to popular belief, the Browns are not a farm team waiting around to GIVE their players away to bigger-market teams, simply to help them fill holes.
