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OVERHEARD: Steve Rodgers and DarkHorse discuss Tom, Gisele, AD&D—and Zombies!

Thank you to ReadAndReact Administrative Assistant Isabella Zapp for transcribing and posting this conversation.

Steve Rodgers: DarkHorse, as a long-suffering Browns fan, do you see anything that gives you hope? I think if I were a Browns fan, I might start looking for another team?

DarkHorse: There is a plague on the Browns. At this hour, twelve Browns players are out with the flu–and we just lost D’Qwell Jackson for the season. Team secretaries and accountants will lineup vs. the Packers this Sunday–which may be a potential improvement. The season feels out of control and dangerous from a PR angle–will any free agent sign with the Browns again? I like Mangini, in theory, but Sundays feel like this to me.

So, what will Trent Edwards do with his newly discovered free time?

Steve Rodgers: I kind of like Mangenius, as well. The Browns feel like a Biblical curse that you would send on the enemies of God or something. If the secretaries line up, I hope Janice from HR is on the field. She fills out a pantsuit. Trent Edwards is spending his free time making highlight tapes for his accountant and taking a real estate correspondence course. He is also happily eating huge meals prepared by his wonderful and beautiful girlfriend. He feels lost without football but is looking forward to a brighter future.

What are some of the things in the LEAGUE right now that have you feeling the power?

DarkHorse: Well, I have a comfortable seat on the McDaniels/Orton Open-Bar Bandwagon Express–we love when a hot mess becomes a lovable team. I was digging the New York Giants until they were “pantsed” by the Saints. They’re dead to me this week. ITEM: I found this want-ad in a Nashville paper: “NEEDED: Large, burly men to play Advanced Dungeons & Dragons with other husky men from Mon-Sat (NOTE: also have to play a football game on Sunday—must LOOK the part, but playing experience not required). Extensive D&D campaign experience IS required–Level 22 and above ONLY. Please send your D&D resume to: J. Fisher / One Titans Way / Nashville, TN 37213. PS – Special consideration given to those with large figurine collections.”

The Tennessee Titans have moved past the gridiron -- to the Borderlands.

Steve Rodgers: I think the emphasis on figurines was very smart on Fisher’s part. It shows that those who apply will have attention to detail but, also, as the ad states, must be “burly.” I saw an ad like that in The Advocate in San Francisco, but it might have been for something completely different. Burly. The NFL: Where burly men run about in tight pants. Feel the Power!

DarkHorse: Three predictions you can TAKE TO THE BANK: (1) Drew Brees goes down for the season in Week 15 and the Saints lose in the first round of the playoffs. (2) Kyle Orton leads Denver to the AFC Championship, where they lose to… (2) Pittsburgh, and (the incredibly annoying) Big Ben, who will win another Super Bowl. Give me three LOCKS, Steve Rodgers.

Is there more to life than Gisele? (Source: WeeklyDrop.com)

Steve Rodgers: Three locks: (1) The Browns dig up the remains of Otto Graham, then preform devil voodoo on him, and he becomes the starting QB–he is a zombie. They slowly feed him Eric Rhett, who is kept in a meat locker under the Berea compound. (2) Tom Brady wakes up one morning, looks at Gisele, looks at his Super Bowl rings and his paycheck, and says, “Is this all there is?” (3) Jeff Fisher watches his team get pounded 32-0. After the game, he shaves his mustache, and hooks up with the CIA to become a handler of foreign agents in the field for a black ops division outside the goverment budget line. He never watches the NFL again.

DarkHorse: Does Zombie Otto Graham complete more than two passes a game vs. Buffalo? If so, I’m in.