17
Nov
2009
BILLS FIRE DICK JAURON
The NFL Network reports that the Buffalo Bills have fired Head Coach Dick Jauron.
(Source: Grant Halverson/Getty Images North America)
7
Nov
2009
Friday Afternoon: Coaches Office – Buffalo, NY
(Image: snacklish.com)
Trent Edwards: Coach, got a minute?
Dick Jauron: Come on in, JP! Getting ready for a three-day weekend, love the bye week! Going to work on my ice sculpture.
TE: It’s Trent… listen, the guys sent me here to talk about the offensive meeting we just had.
DJ: Chowfense!
TE: Yes… about the Chowfense… you see coach, it’s not really an offense, it’s a commercial for a candy bar.
DJ: What? No way… Chowfense! No one is going to be stopping the Chowfense, it’s going to be like the no-huddle, but way more chow, you know. “Watch out NFL… here comes the Chowfense!”
TE: Coach… please, you can’t expect us to…
DJ: Terrell liked it.
TE: Terrell dresses like a pirate and just asked HR to pay him in gold doubloons!
DJ: Oh, good thinking! I’m going to do that too. What’s their extension?
TE: Their extension? Coach… Maybe Ryan should start next week.
DJ: The Yale man? Skull and bones!
TE: Harvard, I think. He went to Harvard.
DJ: Doesn’t matter who starts with the Chowfense, JP! I mean, we could start an English major from Kenyon and the Chowfense would still destroy the other team. It’s airtight! It’s the Chowfense!
TE: Um, okay… listen, I think I’m just going to head home and work on my real estate license.
DJ: Gotta have options!
(Trent leaves)
(Knock knock)
DJ: Come on in.
Terrell Owens: Coach, you ready to ice sculpt?
DJ: Yes!
TO: Arrrrrrrrr!!!
DJ: CHOWFENSE!!!
16
Oct
2009
Bills Fans expressing their displeasure via Billboards
(Photo: unathleticmag.com)
It seems that trashing your favorite team’s front office and coaching staff has become the “cool thing to do” among NFL supporters in 2009. And with their beloved Bills off to a 1-4 start, Buffalo-area fans have just about as much right as anyone to demand a mid-season overhaul of the franchise. I mean, those things usually work out pretty well for everyone, right?
So that’s what one industrious Bills fan is doing. He’s taking his message public via billboards, and has created a website to raise money from other Bills fans who share his frustration. From TheSportingNews:
In a little more than a week, Abshagen, an unemployed 18-year-old from New Freedom, Pa., raised enough money – $1,402 and counting as of Wednesday – through an Internet campaign to rent a billboard and advertise a message of discontent for everyone in Buffalo to see.
“I honestly never thought it would ever be this big,” Abshagen said. “Fans are disgruntled. It’s out there. It’s big. People are going to hear about it.”
Starting early Monday and running for a week, the message will be flashed up to 3,000 times a day on a digital billboard overlooking Interstate 190 on the south side of the city, said Abshagen after signing a contract with an advertising company.
The actual billboard will feature the following artwork, imploring Bills owner Ralph Wilson to make changes to his staff (the much better banner pic above is an awesome mock-up from UnathleticMag.com):
We all know about Dick Jauron. Things don’t look so hot for him right now. The other jobs these fans are calling for belong to the team’s vice president of pro personnel John Guy, and chief college scout Tom Modrak.
I like the enthusiasm. I really do. But like I said, I’m not so sure that dismantling the entire coaching staff and front office less than 1/3 of the way into the season is the best way to go. As bad as things might seem, you need to at least give a team some time to try and right the ship. It’s a long season, and we’ve seen many a club turn around their fortunes after a bad start. But it’s clear that these fans are charter members of the “I’m unemployed & know more about football than the highly paid professionals” camp, and have already given up on the season.
As such, there is now a part of me that is cheering to see the Bills turn it around, just to make these guys feel like jerks.
14
Sep
2009
Buffalo Bills Fieldhouse: Thursday Morning Coaches Office
Trent Edwards: [knocking] Coach, can I come in?
Dick Jauron: Oh, sure, come on in, JP!
TE: Uh, Coach, it’s me, Trent. JP doesn’t play for the team anymore.
DJ: Oh! That’s right. So many players in and out of here, I feel like a doorman at Marshall Fields. Have a seat. I am just going over the playbook, trying to figure out what might work against the Jets on Monday night.
TE: Patriots.
DJ: Exactly! Rod Rust has a good brain, have to watch what he is up to… very tricky man. Best coach in the league if you ask me.
TE: Um… Coach, about the playbook…
DJ: Too confusing? Bit of a brain buster isn’t it!? Holy smokes, hang on to your seats, Patriots!
TE: Well, I was going to say that I was talking to the guys and we were remarking that it seems a little thin. I mean it’s not a playbook, more like a pamphlet, like a long memo or something. There are only 8 plays?
DJ: 16! They can go left or right! Plus we have that hot read audible! As a coach sometimes you have to let your dogs off the leash and make their own choices. I have faith in you, JP! Hot read!
TE: Trent. Don’t you think we could use some more plays, maybe a couple of shotgun formations?
DJ: I’ve been in this league a long time. 16 plays are more than enough. Look at this playbook! My arm hurts just lifting it. I think we will just stick with what’s working.
TE: Working? Our offense is a mess, sir.
DJ: A mess?! We’re good enough for 8 and 8! You know what 8 and 8 is on the Buffalo Bills?
TE: No.
DJ: Employed!
TE: Ah okay… I’ll just get my stuff ready for the flight then. Thanks for listening, Coach. [leaves office]
DJ: Anytime! My door is always open! Now where was I? Rod Rust, you wily old snake! You won’t get me this time!
[knocking]
DJ: JP, is that you again!?
Terrell Owens: Just me, Coach! Terrel! I misplaced me parrot!
DJ: Yellow and Blue? I think I saw him winging around in Turk’s old office. Wow! Your pirate hat is smashing son, absolutely smashing!
TO: Arrrrrrr!
