With just 33 tweets since Jan 7th, @Ohrnberger has already racked up 16k+ followers with his unique, off-color views on life and the world we live in. And although none of his tweets have anything to do with the NFL, Ohrnberger clearly isn’t afraid to tread into territory not all athletes are willing to go … and more importantly, the dude is just plain funny.

Even his teammates Chad Ochocinco and Rob Gronkowski have endorsed Ohrnberger, with Ocho going so far as to call him the “funniest athlete on Twitter”, and Gronk revealing that the 3rd year lineman is the “funniest dude on the team” and “claims his followers will never be disappointed!”.  Based on what we’ve seen so far from Ohrnberger, that seems like a pretty good bet.

Here are a few choice Ohrnberger-isms, in addition to the nuggets presented in the banner pic above:

• Does anybody know if there are any gyms/sports clubs in the Boston area that offer intramural ribbon gymnastics classes for plus size men?
• Just got out of a cab that smelled like an egg salad sandwich got gang-raped by a half dozen brussel sprouts, the cabbie was very nice tho
• I wish aggressive yo-yo-ing was still cool. That was the last real hobby I was good at prior to the invention of internet pornography.

[@Ohrnberger = Followed]

Since he won’t be taking the field on Sunday against the Ravens, hopefully Ohrnberger can at least use his rapier wit to help keep his teammates loose heading into the big game.

(Image via PatsPropoganda.com)

This hilarious Lethal Weapon 3 poster spoof – with Chad Ochocinco, Tom Brady and Bill Belichick playing the roles of Danny Glover, Mel Gibson and Joe Pesci, respectively - is apparently the new avatar for Ochocinco’s Twitter account.

Good stuff, but this new partnership hasn’t exactly proved to be “lethal” so far. Unfortunately for Chad, it seems as though he’s spending way more time on Twitter than he is studying the Patriots playbook, netting just 11 catches for 201 yards and 0 touchdowns this year. And while it’s definitely cool, let’s not pretend that Chad actually tried his hand at photoshop and created this masterpiece himself … I’m guessing it’s a piece of fan art from one of his nearly 3 million (!!!) followers.

[H/T Pats Propaganda]

I don't think Falcons DC Brian Van Gorder said "C'mon Man" (Image: 30fps.com)

The weekly “C’mon Man” segments on ESPN’s Monday Night Countdown have become a favorite here at R&R, mainly because they allow us to catch any funny moments from each weekend’s games that we might have missed. And although it’s clear that Berman, TJ and the boys are continuing their downward slide into cartoon territory, we don’t mind pulling these lowlights from the worldwide leader for your viewing enjoyment.

This week’s edition includes a few moments from Sunday that we would be remiss not showing you, in particular the Chicago Bears pulling off the best trick punt return in NFL history (negated by a phantom holding call), Matt Cassel struggling to put his hat on, and a ref taking a tumble during the Raiders-Jets game:

VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP

Belichick gets choked up reminiscing at Giants Stadium (Image via Sportsgrid.com)

Read our recap of Part 2 HERE

We, along with the rest of the sports-geek community, have been anxiously awaiting the premier of NFL Network’s new special, Bill Belichick: A Football Life. We’re big fans of all these mic’d up segments, and can’t get enough of the insight the NFL Films crew provides into the game we love so much. But after watching part 1, which aired Thursday night, let’s just say we’ve got mixed feelings.

Back in 2009, Belichick agreed to be the first person to be wired for sound by NFL Films for an entire year, promising an unprecedented look at the enigmatic coach’s life inside and outside the game. And while it’s certainly fascinating to hear Belichick do what he does best – like game-planning with Tom Brady for the Baltimore Ravens and Ed Reed, and working with his players and coaches – ultimately, Belichick is a guy who doesn’t talk very much … which doesn’t make for the most exciting television in the world. Even when relaxing on a boat, in the glimpses we get at his relationship with his son, and when he’s trying to relate with his players and be funny, Belichick is about as dry a character as they come. In fact, Deadspin has a hilarious “highlights” reel from the show, jam-packed with all the moments showing The Hoodie at his most grumbly. I mean, let’s face it, Rex Ryan, he ain’t.

But even still, Belichick is an unqualified football genius, and there is plenty here for Patriots fans and football nerds to geek out over. The trailer (below) gives you a pretty good idea of what to expect, and here’s list of standout moments from the program, with a couple of clips to whet your appetite. Even if the personalities might not be as dynamic as we might like, we’ll definitely be setting the DVR to record Part 2:

• The most notable highlight is when Belichick strolls through the bowels of Giants Stadium and gets teary-eyed (VIDEO BELOW) while reminiscing about his time spent there cutting his teeth as a defensive coach under Bill Parcells. It’s by far the most human we’ve ever seen the guy.
• Getting into some smack talk with Ravens WR Derrick Mason, in which he tells him to “Shut the f*ck up” and “Look at the scoreboard” (VIDEO BELOW)
• Joking with Chad Ochocino, then with the Bengals,telling him he might as well take the night off because the Pats were going to double-team him.
• Before the Denver game, Belichick shared a handshake with his former pupil Josh McDaniels, during which they agreed to just wave after the game.
• The aforementioned game-planning for the Ravens, and Belichick telling Ed Reed before the game that he’s the best free safety he has ever seen.

VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP

If you don’t get NFL Network, you can watch most of A Football Life HERE at NFL.com (scroll down for various clips)

NFL.com's Adam Rank envisions a Tom Zbikowski vs. Ochocinco bout. (NFL.com)

NFL.com bloggers and fantasy guru Adam Rank has imagined the ultimate NFL fight card, headlined by (real fighter) Tom Zbikowski vs. (real talker) Ochocinco. Take a look! NFL.com’s illustration/design team came up with the poster, which we’d love to hang on our wall!

Per usual, aspects and individuals of this NFL season are too TEDIOUS to be tolerated and — MUST BE TERMINATED.

IG-88 hovering above NFL with DETONATION HAMMER. (Source: ratherchildish.com)

REPEAT: Assassin droid IG-88 has identified the following targets:

(1) CHILLY must go STAT. CHILLY has lost control of team. CHILLY to be sidelined PERMANENTLY within minutes of IG-88 entering atmosphere. IG-88 has witnessed locker room float away like a paper boat on windy lake. IG-88 will not tolerate. IG-88, who has carried out a series of successful hits on frigid Hoth, is not intimidated by Minnesota winter climate and will not await Spring to carry out job.

IG-88 vows: Chilly/Favre quality time DONE. (Source: AP)

(2) IG-88 will not tolerate coaching weight-loss spree. Human football coaches preferable to IG-88 when obese/aimless. IG-88 vows to cut cord on overly congratulated coach thinning.

IG-88 prefers NFL coaches King Kong Bundy-like, in order to emphasize his sparse, droid figure. COACH SLIM-DOWN: OUT. (Source: The Star-Ledger)

(3) IG-Ocho-ocho on fast-track, seek-and-destroy campaign to DETONATE Bengal Ochocinco. Tired antics and Twitter banter FAIL have intergalactic hit-droid fuming over Ohio copycat.

IG-Ocho-ocho on Ochocinco: "NEGATIVE." (Source: AP)

(4) Brutally dull London game matchup — international SNOOZE FEST — must be adjusted STAT or IG-88 WILL TERMINATE. One last chance for London game — get right or guns drop.

IG-88 has seen football in London nosedive since the Fridge's stint with the London Monarchs. (Source: NFL.com)

(5) IG-88 is coming after playground bully James Harrison. James Harrison, Pennsylvania-situated tough guy, will come face-to-face with INTERGALACTIC droid nemesis IG-88 and learn dictionary definition of HIT TO HEAD. Photos of confrontation will be printed and distributed to Mohamed Massaquoi and Massaquoi family, and posted to all facebook accounts with last name Massaquoi. Massaquoi family line restored by IG-88, star-system leveler and orbital hit-robot. IG-88 DOES NOT TOLERATE JAMES HARRISON ANTICS. IG-88 waits in wings, witnessing fat/sassy James Harrison mock Mohamed Massaquoi and Massaquoi family name — IG-88 will restore pride to Massaquoi variety of human being. James Harrison and Harrison clan will run for earthen hills following IG-88′s appearance in atmosphere. Pittsburgh Steelers warned: Begin go-forward action-plan for life POST-HARRISON. IG-88 burns toward solar system EVEN NOW and hides in shadows prepared to DROP HAMMER on Steelers me-first, me-only defender James Harrison.

IG-88 plans full termination of PA-sourced bully. (Source: New York Times)

Who wants some phone sex with their breakfast? Child, please!

Boy, some guys just can’t win for losing … even when they’re trying to do good.

Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco wanted to add a charitable element to his new “OchocincO’s” cereal (which came out in early September), so he decided that portions of the proceeds will go to help the charity Feed the Children.  They even went so far as to list the phone number for Feed The Children on the side of the box, so people could reach out directly.

Unfortunately, the phone number – printed as 1-800-HELP-FTC – actually goes to a phone sex line, as discovered by one unsuspecting Cincinatti family, and their nine-year-old daughter. Call it, and you’ll hear an explicit message from a woman offering all sorts of adult favors in exchange for a credit card number.  Which first begs the question … “wait, they still have phone sex lines?!?“  I mean, who would even bother with one of these things, what with the treasure trove of free internet porn available at your fingertips?!?  How are these companies still surviving?

But I digress … the correct number for Feed The Children is actually a 1-888 toll-free line, instead of the 1-800 listed on the box. Ochocinco told WCPO News in Cincinnati that the wrong number was clearly a mistake for which he was not responsible, and that he’s confident the company behind the cereal, PBL Sports, will fix the problem.

Between NFL stardom, his wildly popular Twitter account and competing on this season of ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars”, clearly, Chad Ochocinco doesn’t get enough attention.  So now, the Bengals WR has hooked up with the cupids of cable television at VH1 and gotten his own reality dating show.  Ready for the clever title?  “Ochocino: The Ultimate Catch”.  The show premieres on July 11th, and as you can tell from the trailer above, this is going to be one classy affair.

I’m sure the Bengals organization is thrilled with the way Chad has chosen to spend his off-season.  I mean, what better way to prepare for the rigors of the NFL then to follow in the grand tradition of Flavor Flav, Bret Michaels, Tila Tequila and of course, New York, and entertain 85 morally questionably women in a quest for love?  Those fools wasting there time at mini-camp sure are suckers, huh?

Ughh … this kind of makes we want to throw up.  Let’s face it, Ochocinco is way more likely to catch an STD (or three) than he is to find love on this crapfest of a show.  And I don’t even know what to say about Chad’s desperate need for constant attention. This guy seriously needs help.

Chad Ochocinco makes his 2nd catch in as many weeks against Darrelle Revis (Photo: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Jets all-pro CB Darrelle Revis has once-and-for-all exposed Chad Ochocinco as the loud-mouthed fraud that his is. Today in Cincinnati, on his 32nd birthday, Ochocinco was held by Revis to just 2 catches for 28 yards in the Bengals 24-14 playoff loss to the New York Jets. Last week against the Jets, el Ocho was held to 0 catches for 0 yards.  Prior to that game, he had said he’d change his name back to Johnson if Revis shut him down, and then made excuses after the fact that he only played a half so it didn’t count. And today, Revis – who is clearly the best cover corner in the game – was back at it again:

Can we all officially agree that Ochocinco’s act has become tired? Every interview he talks about how he’s the greatest receiver in the game and how he can’t be covered. Yet when it matters most, he’s been decidedly mediocre. Let’s face it, Ochocinco has become a full-time Twitter celebrity and part-time football player. Every week he makes a new empty promise about planned TD celebrations and supposed name changes (Hachi Go, anyone?) … whatever it takes to get people talking about him. And then, after the fact, he pretends it never happened. I’m sure Chad is already preparing a big announcement that he’s challenging a kangaroo to a boxing match. His apologists will say that he’s just having fun, and granted, he’s not exactly hurting anyone. But after these last 2 games, all the crowing in the world can’t distract from the the fact that he’s just not that good anymore. And at some point, you need to be held accountable for the nonsense that comes out of your mouth.

CONTINUE AFTER THE JUMP FOR MORE, INCLUDING VIDEO OF REVIS’ ONLINE REALITY SHOW, “REVIS ISLAND”

I, for one, am over it. I’ve been suckered in by this ass clown plenty of times this season – mainly because I was desperate for content and you can always count on him for a headline. But down the stretch, Ochocinco became almost entirely bluster, and zero muster.

Revis, for his part, shows how he prepared for his Week 17 showdown with Ochocinco in this video blog put together by his friends, cleverly titled “Revis Island”:

… heh, heh, they called him Gilligan.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a good Chad Johnson/Ochocinco story, and apparently his culturally insensitive Sombrero TD celebration on Sunday didn’t get him enough attention this weekend, so … guess who’s planning on changing his name again?

Ochocinco recently announced via his USTREAM that he will legally be changing his last name to “Hachi Go” next year.  “Hachi Go” is apparently Japanese for eighty-five and I gotta admit, it’s better than Ochocinco. And it’ll be interesting to see how the league responds to yet another change to his jersey.  Although, based on Chad’s minimal grasp of linguistics, I can’t help but wonder what “Hachi Go” really means.

When I entered “eighty five” into Babelfish, this is what it came back with:

八十五

Not very helpful. But when I did a search for “Hachi Go” on the interwebs, I learned that Hachi Go actually means “8-5″ not 85 .  “Hachi-juu Go” is 85.  So, this would be consistent with his current numerically incorrect surname.

I also discovered this Urban Dictionary definition:

Hachigo

Japanese for 85, “haci” is 8, and “Go” is 5. Refers to the AE85 Corolla/Levin Toyota car of the 80′s. Popular for it’s RWD features and drift setup.

So, essentially Chad is planning on naming himself after a crappy 1985 Toyota  Corolla.  Sounds like a plan.