23
Dec
2011
Carl from ATHF on Sam Hurd, Rob Ryan and the Cowboys-Eagles (VIDEO)
Our old friend Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is back with his thoughts on the upcoming Christmas Eve showdown between NFC East Rivals, the Cowboys versus the Eagles. And while he’s at it, Carl weighs in on Sam Hurd‘s arrest and Rob Ryan‘s similarity to one of the three wise men, who also might have once played bass for Slayer.
As always, unrivaled analysis here from Carl, but we don’t recommend laying any money down on his picks … ever:
10
Sep
2011
Carl from ATHF is back … with Chuck Klosertman??? (VIDEO)
Our old friend Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is back for another season of his “Stone Cold Lock of The Century … Of The WEEK”. Not surprisingly, Carl kicks things off by picking his Giants over the Redskins in Week 1, with the 9/11 anniversary weighing heavily on his mind.
Oddly, this episode features author Chuck Klosterman as Carl’s intended foil, “The Pencilneck” whose attempts at logical reasoning go wildly unappreciated by “The Garden State Stud”.
As always, enjoy, but we don’t recommend taking any gambling advice from Carl … ever.
14
Jan
2011
VIDEO: Carl from ATHF thinks the NFL should switch to a bowl system
This is probably my favorite rant yet by our resident cartoon voice of the people, Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force … specifically his take on the Seahawks win, and what the NFL should do to prevent such atrocities in the future:
When a team like the Seattle Seahawks can advance past the Wild Card round, then maybe it’s time the NFL take a page from the college playbook, and abandon this stupid playoff system based on merit. Let every pro team with at least 5 wins play in a collection of random regional bowls named after car parts emporiums and hoagie franchises!
Classic.
Then, Carl goes on to drop his Stone Cold Lock of the Century … Of the Week on the much-hyped Jets-Patriots game:
Uh-oh. Bad news Patriots fans … I’m going to go throw a few bucks on gang green.
8
Jan
2011
Carl from ATHF on the Seahawks playoff travesty (VIDEO)
Our old pal Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is back with his hilariously unique perspective on the NFL, and delivers big time this week with his prediction for today’s Saints-Seahawks Wild Card playoff match-up. As usual, Carl succinctly sums up our feelings about Pete Carroll’s team hosting a playoff game with a losing record.
Best line: “We give out another trophy for teams that finish 7-9 … it’s called a high draft pick. This aint pee-wees where everyone gets to have a pizza party. It’s the NFL.”
Unfortunately, if Carl picks a team, it’s pretty much the kiss of death. So you might want to throw a few bucks on Seattle at the last minute … if you’re into that sort of thing, I mean.
3
Dec
2010
Carl from ATHF empathizes with Tom Brady (VIDEO)
(Image via Esquire.com)
The latest rumor to make the rounds about Tom Brady is that he’s been growing out his hair to cover up a bald spot. Esquire has even gotten in to the mix, presenting their 10 top haircut styles for Brady and other balding men. We don’t know if this is true, and we don’t really care … I mean, the guy is married to Gisele. He wins.
But our old friend Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force – a proud member of the follically-challenged tribe – empathizes with what Tom might be going through, and believes that balding is something to be proud of. A sign of masculine strength, if you will …
“All the classic heroes throughout history are bald: David Wells, Vin Diesel, Uncle Fester, and the radiated monster guy from The Hills Have Eyes.
Hair is a liability. Ask Marion Barber how it felt to get yanked down by his Predator braids?
He makes some fine points, but despite all this, Carl still picks the Jets to win Monday night’s AFC East match-up … which probably means the Patriots are a good bet this week.
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
24
Oct
2010
Carl From ATHF weighs in on NFL crackdown on illegal hits (VIDEO)
Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force makes his first appearance of the season on RnR, and he is still the consummate mouthpiece for the common NFL fan. This week, Carl bemoans the potential loss of brain-rattling hits from the game. Best Line: “DeSean Jackson’s brain is property of the NFL, and it is dissapointing to see Roger Goodell cave in to a bunch of pencil-neck scientists trying to neuter our fine sport”. Amen.
Watch below, and all you gamblers out there, be sure to stick around for Carl’s completely unreliable Stone Cold Lock of the Century … Of The Week.
Excuse me while I go look for my Zubaz pantz …
31
Jan
2010
Carl from ATHF gives his thoughts on the Pro Bowl (video)
As you all know, today is the AFC-NFC Pro Bowl, and for the first time, the NFL’s all-star game will be played one week prior to the Super Bowl, rather than the following week (when everyone has already stopped caring about football).
So, will Roger Goodell’s new strategy pay off with increased viewership? Does anyone – aside from Carl – really care?
24
Dec
2009
Carl from ATHF on the True Meaning of Christmas (Video)
Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is just hilarious on many levels. In his most recent rant, he breaks down the Giants season, and gets down to the true meaning of Christmas:
