4
Dec
2009
Braylon Edwards still can’t catch
The New York Jets may have defeated the Buffalo Bills 19-13 last night, and they may have even been helped along by the efforts of WR Braylon Edwards, who had a 13-yd TD catch.
But that doesn’t mean that Edwards has shaken his long-standing problems with dropping perfectly thrown footballs. Check out this play from last night’s game, where Braylon gets wide open downfield, but can’t seem to reel in Mark Sanchez’ gorgeous deep ball. Probably ’cause it hits him in a bad spot … the face:
17
Nov
2009
BILLS FIRE DICK JAURON
The NFL Network reports that the Buffalo Bills have fired Head Coach Dick Jauron.
(Source: Grant Halverson/Getty Images North America)
16
Nov
2009
VIDEO: Titans’ owner Bud Adams flips the Bills the bird
Here’s 86-year-old Titans’ owner Bud Adams expressing his feelings toward the visiting sidelines at the end of his team’s 41-17 home win over the Buffalo Bills. Note the stylish triple-pump single birds followed by an emphatic double bird to finish it off.
Bud, you sassy ole’ bastard, you.
Word is Roger Goodell was actually in the owner’s box with Bud during the game … we’ll surely see what Roger has to say about this one.
7
Nov
2009
Friday Afternoon: Coaches Office – Buffalo, NY
(Image: snacklish.com)
Trent Edwards: Coach, got a minute?
Dick Jauron: Come on in, JP! Getting ready for a three-day weekend, love the bye week! Going to work on my ice sculpture.
TE: It’s Trent… listen, the guys sent me here to talk about the offensive meeting we just had.
DJ: Chowfense!
TE: Yes… about the Chowfense… you see coach, it’s not really an offense, it’s a commercial for a candy bar.
DJ: What? No way… Chowfense! No one is going to be stopping the Chowfense, it’s going to be like the no-huddle, but way more chow, you know. “Watch out NFL… here comes the Chowfense!”
TE: Coach… please, you can’t expect us to…
DJ: Terrell liked it.
TE: Terrell dresses like a pirate and just asked HR to pay him in gold doubloons!
DJ: Oh, good thinking! I’m going to do that too. What’s their extension?
TE: Their extension? Coach… Maybe Ryan should start next week.
DJ: The Yale man? Skull and bones!
TE: Harvard, I think. He went to Harvard.
DJ: Doesn’t matter who starts with the Chowfense, JP! I mean, we could start an English major from Kenyon and the Chowfense would still destroy the other team. It’s airtight! It’s the Chowfense!
TE: Um, okay… listen, I think I’m just going to head home and work on my real estate license.
DJ: Gotta have options!
(Trent leaves)
(Knock knock)
DJ: Come on in.
Terrell Owens: Coach, you ready to ice sculpt?
DJ: Yes!
TO: Arrrrrrrrr!!!
DJ: CHOWFENSE!!!
28
Oct
2009
Top 10 NFL Draft Classes: #9: The 1985 Buffalo Bills and #6: The 1996 Baltimore Ravens
Bruce Smith, pre-Buffalo. (Source: footballfoundation.org)
This intriguing “from-the-vault” series by the NFL Network tells the story of the Top 10 NFL draft classes of all time. Serving as an inspiration to fans of suffering teams, we see the draft for what it is: a leveler, but one that requires knowledge. Teams that can’t get out of the basement are often stuck there because they don’t draft the talent available to them. History suggests that no team with a football-savvy, intuitive GM is going to stay in the dumps for long. So, we have to ask, why do so many teams have the wrong guy at G.M., and stay put? Seems clear that the NFL’s long-standing powerhouses find the right men to lead the charge–and do whatever it takes to keep them in the fold.
Below, we preview two of the Top 10 draft classes of all time: the 1985 Buffalo Bills, detailing the tragic circumstances that led to the rise of G.M. Bill Polian (yes, we find it odd–and, in the Bills’ case, sad– that the demise of TWO Bledsoes led to AFC teams getting to multiple Super Bowls), and (much to my dismay) the 1996 Baltimore Ravens (which should have been the 1996 Cleveland Browns (however, we all know that, instead of drafting Ray Lewis and Friends, the Browns would have selected Avril Lavigne and Raggedy Ann… so we’ll shut up).
Enjoy:
16
Oct
2009
Bills Fans expressing their displeasure via Billboards
(Photo: unathleticmag.com)
It seems that trashing your favorite team’s front office and coaching staff has become the “cool thing to do” among NFL supporters in 2009. And with their beloved Bills off to a 1-4 start, Buffalo-area fans have just about as much right as anyone to demand a mid-season overhaul of the franchise. I mean, those things usually work out pretty well for everyone, right?
So that’s what one industrious Bills fan is doing. He’s taking his message public via billboards, and has created a website to raise money from other Bills fans who share his frustration. From TheSportingNews:
In a little more than a week, Abshagen, an unemployed 18-year-old from New Freedom, Pa., raised enough money – $1,402 and counting as of Wednesday – through an Internet campaign to rent a billboard and advertise a message of discontent for everyone in Buffalo to see.
“I honestly never thought it would ever be this big,” Abshagen said. “Fans are disgruntled. It’s out there. It’s big. People are going to hear about it.”
Starting early Monday and running for a week, the message will be flashed up to 3,000 times a day on a digital billboard overlooking Interstate 190 on the south side of the city, said Abshagen after signing a contract with an advertising company.
The actual billboard will feature the following artwork, imploring Bills owner Ralph Wilson to make changes to his staff (the much better banner pic above is an awesome mock-up from UnathleticMag.com):
We all know about Dick Jauron. Things don’t look so hot for him right now. The other jobs these fans are calling for belong to the team’s vice president of pro personnel John Guy, and chief college scout Tom Modrak.
I like the enthusiasm. I really do. But like I said, I’m not so sure that dismantling the entire coaching staff and front office less than 1/3 of the way into the season is the best way to go. As bad as things might seem, you need to at least give a team some time to try and right the ship. It’s a long season, and we’ve seen many a club turn around their fortunes after a bad start. But it’s clear that these fans are charter members of the “I’m unemployed & know more about football than the highly paid professionals” camp, and have already given up on the season.
As such, there is now a part of me that is cheering to see the Bills turn it around, just to make these guys feel like jerks.
28
Sep
2009
Terrell Owens beginning to melt in Buffalo
With Terrell Owens, it’s not really a question of if he’s going to start tearing apart the Buffalo Bills locker room. It’s just a question of when.
So after hauling in ZERO catches for ZERO yards in yesterday’s 27-7 loss to the Saints, all eyes were on T.O. during his post-game press conference. Was this the day he was going to throw his first tantrum in front of the Buffalo cameras? The reporters were blatantly egging him on, just praying he would throw Trent Edwards or Dick Jauron under the bus. But Owens was having none of it:
To his credit, Owens played it relatively cool, and stuck to the “I’m just going with the plays that are called” script.
But you can tell he’s just seething behind those designer sunglasses. After a 1-2 start and with less than 100 yards receiving, the Bills had better pray they can turn things around quickly, and get their star FA acquisition some more touches. If not, it’s only a matter of time before Owens loses his cool. Whether in the locker room, on the field, or in front of the press … it’s going to happen. And Trent Edwards had better have his big boy pants on.
16
Sep
2009
Bills Fans go “All The Right Moves” on Leodis McKelvin’s Lawn
Leodis McKelvin suffered a similar fate to Ampipe's Coach Nickerson
Buffalo Bills cornerback/returner Leodis McKelvin, who fumbled a late kickoff return that led directly to the Bills’ 25-24 loss to the Patriots on Monday night, had the front lawn of his home vandalized on Tuesday.
Police are investigating the matter, but this was apparently the job of Bills fans who were less than pleased with McKelvin’s decision to take the kickoff out of the end zone with under 2 minutes to go, and Buffalo ahead 24-19 (oh, and the Bills were also in onside kick return formation, so the hands team was on the field, and there was no one back to block). The resulting fumble allowed Tom Brady to hit Ben Watson for a game-winning TD.
It’s a situation that has Bills players concerned for their privacy & safety, as this played out just like a scene from the classic football flick, All The Right Moves. I can just visualize these drunken Bills fans descending on McKelvin’s lawn like Ampipe boosters trashing the house of Craig T. Nelson’s Coach Nickerson, after Djordjevich got flagged for a late pass interference call in the state HS playoffs.
I guess it still goes to show that folks from the Western NY & PA Great Lakes region take their football seriously!
AFTER THE JUMP, WATCH VIDEO FROM THE BILLS/PATRIOTS GAME, ALONG WITH THE TRAILER FOR “ALL THE RIGHT MOVES”
14
Sep
2009
Buffalo Bills Fieldhouse: Thursday Morning Coaches Office
Trent Edwards: [knocking] Coach, can I come in?
Dick Jauron: Oh, sure, come on in, JP!
TE: Uh, Coach, it’s me, Trent. JP doesn’t play for the team anymore.
DJ: Oh! That’s right. So many players in and out of here, I feel like a doorman at Marshall Fields. Have a seat. I am just going over the playbook, trying to figure out what might work against the Jets on Monday night.
TE: Patriots.
DJ: Exactly! Rod Rust has a good brain, have to watch what he is up to… very tricky man. Best coach in the league if you ask me.
TE: Um… Coach, about the playbook…
DJ: Too confusing? Bit of a brain buster isn’t it!? Holy smokes, hang on to your seats, Patriots!
TE: Well, I was going to say that I was talking to the guys and we were remarking that it seems a little thin. I mean it’s not a playbook, more like a pamphlet, like a long memo or something. There are only 8 plays?
DJ: 16! They can go left or right! Plus we have that hot read audible! As a coach sometimes you have to let your dogs off the leash and make their own choices. I have faith in you, JP! Hot read!
TE: Trent. Don’t you think we could use some more plays, maybe a couple of shotgun formations?
DJ: I’ve been in this league a long time. 16 plays are more than enough. Look at this playbook! My arm hurts just lifting it. I think we will just stick with what’s working.
TE: Working? Our offense is a mess, sir.
DJ: A mess?! We’re good enough for 8 and 8! You know what 8 and 8 is on the Buffalo Bills?
TE: No.
DJ: Employed!
TE: Ah okay… I’ll just get my stuff ready for the flight then. Thanks for listening, Coach. [leaves office]
DJ: Anytime! My door is always open! Now where was I? Rod Rust, you wily old snake! You won’t get me this time!
[knocking]
DJ: JP, is that you again!?
Terrell Owens: Just me, Coach! Terrel! I misplaced me parrot!
DJ: Yellow and Blue? I think I saw him winging around in Turk’s old office. Wow! Your pirate hat is smashing son, absolutely smashing!
TO: Arrrrrrr!
22
Aug
2009
BUFFALO: LATE ONE EVENING AT TRENT EDWARDS’ BEAUTIFULLY APPOINTED LOFT APARTMENT
Trent Edwards’ Girlfriend: Trent, I think the phone is ringing.
Trent Edwards: Baby, what time is it?
TEGF: 2 a.m.
TE: The hell?! [picks up phone]… Hello?
Terrell Owens: Trent… Trent it’s me! It’s me baby!
TE: Terrell – why are you calling? Where are you?
TO: I’m outside! It’s stunning out, but cold, just so cold. Brrrrrrr! Do you think I’m sexy?
TE: What?!
TO: Sexy! I mean, do I turn you on as a football player?
TE: What?!
TO: My hands… I have sexy hands, right? I love to catch.
TE: You do love to catch.
TO: I want to catch you. I want to catch you with my large sexy hands!
TE: I know…
TO: I want to grab you and hold you with my hands! I won’t let go. I won’t let go!
TE: With your hands… are you talking about catching the ball?
TO: Let’s wear the same clothes tomorrow!
TE: What?
TO: Meet me at 6 a.m. outside the field house. I got us two shirts with ponies on them! We are the Buffalo Ponies! You are my plow! Oh and little shorts! We’ll be all bunchy!
TE: Little shorts?
TO: Oh they are so tiny!
TE: Okay.
TO: Okay, see you tomorrow, matey! I’m gonna catch the shit out of you!
TE: Bye. [hangs up]
TEGF: Did he say bunchy sweetie?
TE: He did… [sets alarm for 5:30] Hold me.
