As always, unrivaled analysis here from Carl, but we don’t recommend laying any money down on his picks … ever:

Oddly, this episode features author Chuck Klosterman as Carl’s intended foil, “The Pencilneck” whose attempts at logical reasoning go wildly unappreciated by “The Garden State Stud”.

As always, enjoy, but we don’t recommend taking any gambling advice from Carl … ever.

When a team like the Seattle Seahawks can advance past the Wild Card round, then maybe it’s time the NFL take a page from the college playbook, and abandon this stupid playoff system based on merit. Let every pro team with at least 5 wins play in a collection of random regional bowls named after car parts emporiums and hoagie franchises!

Classic.

Then, Carl goes on to drop his Stone Cold Lock of the Century … Of the Week on the much-hyped Jets-Patriots game:

Uh-oh. Bad news Patriots fans … I’m going to go throw a few bucks on gang green.

Best line: “We give out another trophy for teams that finish 7-9 … it’s called a high draft pick. This aint pee-wees where everyone gets to have a pizza party. It’s the NFL.”

Unfortunately, if Carl picks a team, it’s pretty much the kiss of death. So you might want to throw a few bucks on Seattle at the last minute … if you’re into that sort of thing, I mean.

(Image via Esquire.com)

The latest rumor  to make the rounds about Tom Brady is that he’s been growing out his hair to cover up a bald spot.  Esquire has even gotten in to the mix, presenting their 10 top haircut styles for Brady and other balding men. We don’t know if this is true, and we don’t really care … I mean, the guy is married to Gisele. He wins.

But our old friend Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force – a proud member of the follically-challenged tribe – empathizes with what Tom might be going through, and believes that balding is something to be proud of. A sign of masculine strength, if you will …

“All the classic heroes throughout history are bald: David Wells, Vin Diesel, Uncle Fester, and the radiated monster guy from The Hills Have Eyes.

Hair is a liability. Ask Marion Barber how it felt to get yanked down by his Predator braids?

He makes some fine points, but despite all this, Carl still picks the Jets to win Monday night’s AFC East match-up … which probably means the Patriots are a good bet this week.

VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP

Watch below, and all you gamblers out there, be sure to stick around for Carl’s completely unreliable Stone Cold Lock of the Century … Of The Week.

Excuse me while I go look for my Zubaz pantz …

As you all know, today is the AFC-NFC Pro Bowl, and for the first time, the NFL’s all-star game will be played one week prior to the Super Bowl, rather than the following week (when everyone has already stopped caring about football).

So, will Roger Goodell’s new strategy pay off with increased viewership?  Does anyone – aside from Carl – really care?