Paula Abdul reportedly did the choreography for this video (Image via Youtube.com)

Wow. I’ve been a Giants fan for as long as I can remember, but I don’t ever recall seeing this video before yesterday … and it’s absolutely, awesomely & hilariously awful.

Back in the ’80s – fresh on the heels of the Bears’ “Super Bowl Shuffle” sensation – getting sports teams to sing terrible songs and make even worse music videos became the cool thing to do. And during their own run toward Super Bowl XXI in 1986, some members of the New York Giants apparently couldn’t resist the seductive allure of the music biz either.

This video for the creatively titled “We’re the New York Giants” was shot in the old Giants Stadium on a budget of approximately $42, featuring a random collection of just eight Giants players with stars in their eyes, dancing (awkwardly) and lip synching in street clothes to a super-sweet electro/pop synth beat. And holding a deflated football.

VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP

It appears that the song was credited to “Manuel, Headen & Roberts”, which means that WR Lionel Manuel (in the blue baseball cap), backup LB Andy Headen (in the cowboy-meets-pimp hat), and OL William Roberts (in the shades and brown jacket) were the masterminds behind this track. The token white guy is DB Herb Welch, and we spot CB Mark Collins (checkered jacket) in there too, but otherwise we have no idea who the rest of these dudes are … and we desperately want to know who the guy in the white jacket and blue sweatpants tucked into his socks is. If you have any leads on any of the unidentified Giants, please post them in the comments.

We are the New York Giants
Don’t you know we’re great
Football is our business
Pasadena we can’t wait

The New York Giants is our name
Football is our game
Winning we proclaim
And drugs are not our thang …

That’s why we’re winners!
THAT’S WHY WE’RE WINNERS!

Weighty stuff. And as you can see from the pic of the original 12″ (available online for just $9.24!), it was the visionaries at A-1 Creative Records who thought it was a wise investment to put it on wax … I somehow doubt they recouped on this one.

(Photo: thefanhub.com)

This video has been around for about a month now, but it felt especially appropriate in light of tomorrow’s Giants-49ers NFC Championship showdown. Giants all-pro DE Jason Pierre-Paul – better known among Giants fans as “J.P.P” – already has his own tribute video, logically set to the tune of New Jersey natives Naughty By Nature’s “O.P.P”.

In just his second season, Pierre-Paul racked up 16-1/2 regular season sacks, and has become a defensive terror who must be accounted for on every play by opposing offenses. His freakish wingspan allows him to disrupt passes (and FG attempts), and even when he’s not sacking the QB, the double-teams he draws free up his teammates to make plays. And on Sunday, JPP will undoubtedly put Alex Smith to the test and be a huge factor in the outcome of the game.

The video comes to us from Mr. Josh Hyman, and although he might not have the best flow on the planet, compared to most of the awful fan-created songs out there, it’s a relative masterpiece:

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So "Gronking" is now an actual thing (Photo: Boston.com)

Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski has set a new standard for receiving tight ends in the NFL this year, with a record 1,327 yards and 17 regular season touchdowns, plus 3 more in last weekend’s divisional playoff game. Along the way, he’s made a habit of angrily spiking the ball into the turf after every score, spawning the term “Gronking” to describe his particularly violent  take on the traditional celebration.

In fact, in an obvious take-off of the Tebowing trend, Gronking has apparently become a thing among Pats fans - complete with it’s own website - who want to emulate their favorite player. Somehow, in his own jolly-meathead-icon fashion, Gronkowski has actually managed to make spiking the ball cool again.

Now, someone has gone ahead and set clips of Gronkowski’s spikes to Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture … and let’s just say it makes for a very explosive highlight reel:

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(Photo: cheezburger.com)

With the early success of the 6-2 Detroit Lions this season, their traditional Thanksgiving Day game (this year coming against their NFC North foe Green Bay Packers) should actually be worth watching for the first time in ages. As such, this year’s Turducken Bowl has taken on added meaning for the franchise and city of Detroit.

Detroit prides itself on being a city known for it’s rich musical history. From Motown to the MC5, Bob Seger to Kid Rock, and Madonna to the White Stripes, the Motor City has spawned some of the most important acts in modern music, earning yet another well-deserved nickname, “Rock City”. So it should come as no surprise that its citizens were none too pleased when they learned which musical performers the Lions had booked to perform at halftime of this year’s Thanksgiving Day game. Of all of the thousands of talented bands out there, including those who hail from Michigan, someone in the Lions’ front office thought it would be a good idea to book Canadian rock band Nickelback to perform.

Needless to say, this isn’t sitting well with many Lions fans, who have taken to the internet and started this petition to replace Nickelback as the halftime entertainment:

This game is nationally televised, do we really want the rest of the US to associate Detroit with Nickelback? Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?! Does anyone even like Nickelback? Is this some sort of ploy to get people to leave their seats during halftime to spend money on alcoholic beverages and concessions? This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game. At least the people watching at home can mute their TVs. The Lions ought to think about their fans before choosing such an awful band to play at halftime.

This is just classic. Nickelback is terrible, and the people of the mitten simply aren’t going to stand idly by while their ears are raped by this particularly crappy brand of corporate rock. We support this petition wholeheartedly.

News Team ... Assemble!

Oh, hello there! I wasn’t expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday’s arms and back. Ohh, it’s the deep burn. Oh, it’s so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm ’cause I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me counting.

I swear, I wasn’t planning on posting Nick Javas’ Rhyme Reel this week … that is, until I saw that it was themed after one of the greatest movies of all time, Anchorman. And when it comes to combining 2 of my favorite things in the world – football and Ron Burgundy – you don’t have to ask twice. So here it is, and be sure to stick around to the end for the closing credits:

Great Odin’s Raven!

I’m sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don’t know what that means. I’ll be honest, I don’t think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.

And we also get a special appearance from former Giants RB Rodney Hampton, which made me happy. Enjoy:

The Week 8 Rhyme Reel is appropriately Halloween-themed, and while we could do without the comedic interludes, it’s still better than anything we could ever produce:

Seriously, this is the strangest thing I’ve seen in a long time. It’s like a freaky Electric Company video for kids, with the follow-the-bouncing-ball lyrics, 70′s-era special effects and of course, his motley crew of back-up dancers. Can someone explain what the hell is going on here?!?

UPDATE – Apparently this was filmed by Nike a few years ago as part of an LT marketing campaign. In this radio interview, Tomlinson reveals the origins of the LT Style Electric glide.

If only the Dolphins had enlisted Andy Samberg for this gig

It has been a busy off-season for the defending AFC East Champion Miami Dolphins.  Not that they’ve done anything particularly notable to improve their football club, but owner Stephen Ross sure has been busy rubbing elbows with the South Florida music community!!!

First, Jimmy Buffett became a minority owner in the Dolphins and wrote a horrendous fight song for the team.  Then, both Gloria Estefan and Marc Anthony purchased stakes in the franchise, ensuring that Miami had cornered the market on mediocre pop stars in the NFL.

Well, it appears the Dolphins weren’t satisfied there, and have now enlisted auto-tuning hip-hop sensation T-Pain to craft a new anthem for the club … and it’s even worse than you could have possibly imagined.

It’s like they didn’t even try.  T-Pain just threw in an 1987 video game soundtrack on a loop and had his 3-yr old nephew write the lyrics.

This begs the question, though, has anyone consulted Bill Parcells in all of this?!?  I mean, if Sundays in Miami are filled with this crap, followed by “Conga” and “Margaritaville” to psych out their opponents … I don’t suspect Landshark Stadium is going to be an intimidating place for rival teams to play.

Unless they are worried that the rhythm is, in fact, gonna get them.  In that case, they should be afraid.  Very afraid.

Cleanse your aural palette with a much better T-Pain joint after the jump: The Lonely Island’s “On A Boat”