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12 Aug 2010

HBO Hard Knocks: New York Jets, Episode 1

(Photo: Photo: Al Pereira/Getty Images via NYMag.com

Last night, HBO premiered the first episode of this season’s edition of Hard Knocks featuring Rex Ryan and the New York Jets.  I took the time to jot down my thoughts during the episode, which I’ve distilled below.

Essentially, this episode was about two things: Rex and Revis.   Rex Ryan took center stage as expected and did not disappoint (especially in the cursing department), and Darrelle Revis was the central focus of the episode, despite (or more correctly, because of) his absence from camp.

The fine folks at JetTwit did a much better job breaking down last night’s episode than I ever could, but here are my running thoughts, in case anyone cares:

  • If this show were about my favorite team, this intro would get me seriously physically aroused.  I think I’m ready for football to start
  • Cortland, NY is an awful town … as an alumnus of their rival Ithaca Bombers, I had the displeasure of visiting this beacon of crapitude several times during my college career, and this is not a place you want to spend your summers.  But HBO managed to make it look better in 2 minutes of b-roll footage than it ever did during my time there.  But I may be biased.
  • It’s obvious that the Revis holdout will be big storyline. It must be maddening to have everyone asking about one player when you’re trying to lead a group of 60+ other guys who are all there to do their job
  • Rex Ryan doesn’t look to have started shedding much weight yet from the lap band surgery.
  • Here’s video of Rex’s opening speech to his players. His goals for the team – all 3 units – is to lead the league in wins. Radical strategy, there.  But he’s definitely someone you’d want to play for. Rex is so oddly charismatic, but boy, he sure does say “fuck” a lot (and I mean a LOT – video NSFW for language):

  • Rex wears black Chuck Taylors on the first day of camp … apparently this is his thing.  And it elicits the “sexy Rexy” chant from a few male Jets fans, and he likes it. Read the rest of this entry »
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12 August, 2010 at 9:17 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: Antonio Cromartie, Darrelle Revis, Hard Knocks, HBO, LaDanian Tomlinson, Mark Sanchez, Mike Tannenbaum, New York Jets, Rex Ryan, Santonio Holmes, Training Camp
Posted in Media, NFL News, Opinion/Editorial | No Comments »

2 Jul 2010

Oh Sweet Jeebus … Ochocinco gets his own VH1 dating show (TRAILER)

Between NFL stardom, his wildly popular Twitter account and competing on this season of ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars”, clearly, Chad Ochocinco doesn’t get enough attention.  So now, the Bengals WR has hooked up with the cupids of cable television at VH1 and gotten his own reality dating show.  Ready for the clever title?  “Ochocino: The Ultimate Catch”.  The show premieres on July 11th, and as you can tell from the trailer above, this is going to be one classy affair.

I’m sure the Bengals organization is thrilled with the way Chad has chosen to spend his off-season.  I mean, what better way to prepare for the rigors of the NFL then to follow in the grand tradition of Flavor Flav, Bret Michaels, Tila Tequila and of course, New York, and entertain 85 morally questionably women in a quest for love?  Those fools wasting there time at mini-camp sure are suckers, huh?

Ughh … this kind of makes we want to throw up.  Let’s face it, Ochocinco is way more likely to catch an STD (or three) than he is to find love on this crapfest of a show.  And I don’t even know what to say about Chad’s desperate need for constant attention. This guy seriously needs help.

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2 July, 2010 at 12:01 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: Chad Ochocinco, Cincinnati Bengals, Ochocino: The Ultimate Catch, trailer, VH1
Posted in Entertainment, Media, NFL News, Video | No Comments »

23 Jun 2010

VIDEO: the NY Giants are not good at MTV’s Silent Library

I haven’t watched MTV in years … ya know, pretty much since they stopped playing MUSIC and opted to only show cheap/crappy reality programming.  But apparently, one of their newer shows is a game show of sorts called “Silent Library”, and an upcoming episode features six members of the New York Football Giants. And in late June, that’s close enough to football news for us!

Here’s the basic premise of the show [via HotClicks]:

“A team of six contestants attempts a series of offbeat challenges to win money. The show is set in a library, so the players must remain quiet. The contestants draw cards, and the player who gets the one with skull and crossbones must complete a bizarre task or endure an unusual punishment. If they do so without laughing, the show’s host, Zero Kazama, awards them money. But if the team cracks up or is otherwise too loud, they lose.”

Pretty simple, right? But it’s oddly hilarious, even if it does end up sounding like 30 minutes of Muttley from the Hanna Barbara cartoons. And as these clips demonstrate, this group of Giants players – Kevin Boss, Chris Snee, Shaun O’Hara, David Diehl, Rich Seubert & Dave Tollefson – are not very good at this game.

In the above clip C Shaun O’Hara has to pedal a bike that shoots tennis balls at his face. Clearly, his teammates take great pleasure in watching this, end up laughing WAY to loudly, and thus losing.  And when TE Boss gets the treatment from a toothless old man, you can probably guess that it ends in a similar fashion:

Read the rest of this entry »

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23 June, 2010 at 8:37 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: Dave Tollefson, David Diehl, Game Shows, Kevin Boss, MTV, New York Football Giants, Rich Seubert, Shaun O'Hara, Silent Library
Posted in Entertainment, Humor/Satire, Media, Video | 3 Comments »

28 Apr 2010

ESPN’s “Run Ricky Run” should be mandatory viewing

In case you haven’t been watching, ESPN’s 30 for 30 series is must-see sports programming.  It’s a series of documentary shorts from different filmmakers on a variety of sports topics, resulting in some of the best sports films in recent memory (see the docs on the University of Miami football program and Allen Iverson’s trial as a youth, in particular). Set your DVR’s, folks.

The latest episode is entitled “Run Ricky Run”, with Sean Pamphilon and Royce Toni taking an in-depth look at the fascinating journey of former Heisman Trophy-winner and Dolphins RB Ricky Williams. It’s a story that demanded to be told, and this film provides unparalleled access to Williams and those close to him.

It doesn’t take long to realize that Williams is as far from the run-of-the-mill professional athlete as could possibly be. His much-publicized love of marijuana led to multiple suspensions, and when he went to Canada to play ball in 2006, it seemed to signal the end of his NFL career.

Read the rest of this entry »

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28 April, 2010 at 13:33 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: 30 for 30, ESPN, Miami Dolphins, Ricky Williams, Run Ricky Run
Posted in Media, NFL News | 1 Comment »

30 Mar 2010

VIDEO: Preview the new ‘Tecmo Bowl: Throwback’ game

So, this video is the “Exclusive Debut Trailer” for the new Tecmo Bowl: Throwback game, set to be released this spring on XBox and Playstation. From Gametrailers.com:

Call me a grumpy old man, but this just feels like yet another bastardization of my childhood memories in an effort to make a quick buck.  Like every idea in Hollywood these days (see Where The Wild Things Are, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, etc.), this just reeks of a desperate attempt to forgo actual imagination and originality by slapping together a remake of something that worked 20+ years ago.

I mean, don’t get me wrong … we LOVE Tecmo Bowl here at RnR.  It’s how we cut our video game teeth. But the novelty of that old style of game play will likely wear off in about 12 minutes, and it doesn’t look like the 3-D version is going to be winning over any folks who are accustomed to the Madden series of games.  Especially since Madden (unlike Tecmo) is actually licensed by the NFL, so you can use real players, instead of generic guys like Brooke, Simmons and Thacker.

Hopefully they can at least license the names of retired guys like Bo Jackson and Lawrence Taylor, so we can re-live their Tecmo days of glory.

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30 March, 2010 at 10:54 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: Tecmo Bowl, Video Games
Posted in Media, Opinion/Editorial, Video | No Comments »

25 Mar 2010

HBO’s Hard Knocks to feature the New York Jets

Rex Ryan is coming to HBO this summer - with or without the stomach (Photo: William Perlman/The Star-Ledger)

The New York Daily News is reporting that HBO has selected the New York Jets as the subject of their popular reality series “Hard Knocks”, which gives an up-close look into the day-to-day of an NFL training camp.  This means that we’ll finally get an answer to the question that has been plaguing NFL fans for a long time now: What exactly does Rex Ryan eat for breakfast???

The Jets issued a statement yesterday, and plan to make an official announcement later today at their team headquarters in Florham Park, NY.   HBO’s cameras will travel with the team to Cortland in upstate New York for camp, which begins in July. With players like Mark Sanchez, Darelle Revis, LaDanian Tomlinson and Antonio Cromartie, there is certainly plenty of potential for characters to emerge, and intriguing storylines to develop.

But certainly, the leading role here goes to Ryan, who has grown into one of the league’s biggest characters in record time, and has displayed a knack for saying exactly what’s on his mind, running his mouth, flipping the bird (and eating whatever’s on his plate) … whether the cameras are rolling or not.  And that’s the kind of stuff that HBO is banking on.

UPDATE: It turns out that Rex Ryan recently underwent lap-band surgery to aid in his fight with obesity. What’s that, you ask? From the Huffington Post:

In a lap-band procedure, a plastic band is inserted that encircles a patient’s stomach, effectively shrinking it and curbing their appetite.

I had no idea.  I guess that means we’re going to be waving bye-bye to that enormously rotund midsection of his.  This is really throwing me for a loop.  I mean, no more fat jokes at his expense? That accounts for like 66% of the content on this site.

Apparently seeing video of himself  – and more specifically, his stomach – at a hockey game may have had something to do with Rex’s decision to have the procedure done.

WATCH VIDEO OF REX’S SOON-TO-BE-TRIM STOMACH AFTER THE JUMP

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25 March, 2010 at 8:03 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: Hard Knocks, HBO, New York Jets, Rex Ryan
Posted in Entertainment, Media, NFL News | 1 Comment »

15 Feb 2010

VIDEO: Oprah tries to rub off Drew Brees’ birthmark

Well, this is awkward.

[via Shutdown Corner]

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15 February, 2010 at 9:09 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: Drew Brees, Oprah Winfrey, Super Bowl MVP
Posted in Entertainment, Media, Video | No Comments »

10 Feb 2010

Tracy Porter’s Super Bowl Interception, Tecmo Bowl-style

Now that the dust has settled from Super Bowl 44, we would be remiss if we didn’t post one last Tecmo Bowl recreation for the season, from our Youtube friend MRNFL. This one captures the biggest play from Super Sunday, and possibly the entire season, as Tecmo Tracy Porter picks off Tecmo Peyton and races 74 yards for the game-winning score.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever get tired of these.

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10 February, 2010 at 9:17 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: Indianapolis Colts, New Orleans Saints, Super Bowl XLIV, Tecmo Bowl, Tracy Porter Peyton Manning
Posted in Humor/Satire, Media, NFL Highlights | No Comments »

22 Jan 2010

Prince’s new Vikings Fight Song = Worst. Song. Ever.

Prince is clearly inspired by his favorite NFL club. Just look at that passion!

I gotta admit, when I first saw the headline that Prince had written a new song for the Minnesota Vikings, I got pretty excited.  We know that Prince – being from Minneapolis – is a real Vikings fan, so I figured this was a perfect fit. As a child of the 80′s, I had visions of a funky-ass track, featuring Prince’s signature guitar and vocal stylings, with Sheila E on the backbeat and a hyped-up, synth-driven chorus. Maybe throw in some Vanity and Appolonia dancing side stage, and I am there!

Ummm … not so much.  Instead, apparently Prince “saw the future” during last weekend’s blowout win over the Cowboys and, clearly inspired by the religious implications of Brett Favre’s third coming, wrote a Vikings-themed gospel song later that night. That’s right. It’s a gospel song.  And a half-assed one at that. Prince doesn’t sing on it, opting instead for a local Minneapolis youth choir, and he seems to have used a busted Casio synth to lay down the track, recording directly to a cassette deck.

But don’t let me influence your opinion. Here is a clip of the song, so you can judge for yourself:

If you’re so inclined, you can hear the full version of the song here – Audio player at the right of the page.

LYRICS AFTER THE JUMP

Read the rest of this entry »

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22 January, 2010 at 9:24 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: audio, Fight songs, Minnesota Vikings, Prince, Purple and Gold
Posted in Entertainment, Media, NFL News | 1 Comment »

17 Jan 2010

VIDEO: Favre leads Vikings in “Pants on the Ground”

This is how Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings celebrated today’s playoff victory over the Dallas Cowboys … unbelievable:

If you don’t watch American Idol, or have no idea what this is about, watch the original version of “Pants on The Ground” by General Larry Platt here. Admittedly, I have been singing this song all week. I’m not a proud man.

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17 January, 2010 at 16:07 by ArtieFufkin

Tags: American Idol, Brett Favre, Minnesota Vikings, Pants on the Ground
Posted in Humor/Satire, Media, NFL Highlights, Random, Video | 5 Comments »

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