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Early April is generally a pretty slow time for NFL news. There have been a few minor moves and signings, and we had our annual player caught with gun story, but in general, things like the Final Four, MLB opening day, Easter with family (and for some of us, reruns of Hard Knocks on Hulu) are more interesting this time of year. And at this point, everyone is really gearing up for the draft, which is less than 3 weeks away.
There are mocks-O-plenty as prognosticators pretend to have a clue as to how the draft (in its new 3-day format) is going to play out. Meanwhile, teams fine-tune their value boards and conduct background checks on their top prospects. We’ve heard plenty of reports from pro days of the top college players, but sorry, we simply refuse to write about Tim Tebow before he actually does something in the NFL. He gets plenty of ink already.
So, before we head out to round up eggs and candy from the neighborhood kids, we’ll leave you with a few links from the past week:
Happy sunday!

These stopwatches mean millions of dollars to players at the NFL Combine (Photo: Ben Liebenberg/NFL.com)
You’ll have to forgive us for our recent lapse in NFL coverage … we were swept up in Winter Olympic fever for the past few weeks, and kind of forgot that the NFL Scouting Combine started last week. And yeah, we actually had something better to do than watch a bunch of grown men run around in their skivvies. So sue us.
Otherwise known as the “underwear Olympics”, the Combine is the annual meat market where NFL teams poke and prod at the latest round of prospects like so much cattle, sizing up their chances of success at the next level. It’s where Wonderlics, route trees and body lean become the talk of the day. A place where a mediocre player can rise from obscurity with a 4.3 40-yard dash time, and where an all-American LB can tumble down the draft charts because he’s a few inches too short.
As you might be able to surmise from our tone, we don’t put as much stock in the combine as some others. I mean, it’s a useful tool to get an up-close look at these athletes, who teams are about to invest millions of dollars in … but it should really only be one piece of the larger puzzle. How someone performs on an indoor track in a sterilized environment should not be viewed as a direct reflection of how they will perform on Sunday. Sure, there are some physical tools that you simply can’t teach, and certain teams (ie., the Raiders) are always going to take a chance on gifted athletes, whether they can actually play football or not. But if a kid is ranked in your top 10 at the end of the college season, after being a playmaker his entire career, there’s simply no way a slow 3-cone drill time should drop him off of your board.

DTs Gerald McCoy of Oklahoma (left) and Ndomukong Suh of Nebraska are 2 of the top prospects in this year's draft (Photo: Ben Liebenberg/NFL.com)
I’ve watched a few hours of the combine over the past 2 days, and I guess I’ll have to leave it to the Kipers and Mayocks of the world, who make their living off of this event. And don’t get me wrong, you can definitely gain some affirmation on your feelings about a player one way or another from these workouts – and especially the interviews. I just feel that often, too much value is placed on these measurements over actual gameday performance.
And with that, I leave you with a few Combine-related links:
AFTER THE JUMP, WATCH RICH EISEN RUN THE 40-YARD DASH … IN A SUIT
And here we thought that Bill Belichick was having problems. Over the weekend, former Patriots’ players played in a charity basketball game with some high schoolers. This feel good story quickly turned bad, though, when the Pats’ squad started roughing up their counterparts from Nashoba Regional High School. Now, the parents of the teens are fighting back, the police are involved, and one former Patriot, Garin “Gameday” Veris, may even lose his job over it is on the defensive over it. If you want to see video on the story, you’ll have to go here.
At the center of the bru-ha-ha is this man and his charity, All Pro Productions, who arranged the game:

Fred Smerlas
Smerlas, who as evidenced by the above photo was either a wrestler or a super hero in high school, apparently knows how to fight when he wants to:

Smerlas fought in high school. Smerlas’ charity team fights high schoolers now. Coincidence? Or culture of violence? You decide!

You may only recognize Smerlas when you see him wearing his 'stache.
Photos from www.coachpass33.com and http://graphics.fansonly.com/photos/schools/bc/genrel/auto_action/FredSmerlas.jpg
This is getting out of hand. First, her “sister” MacKenzie Phillips went on Oprah to drop this little nugget: she had a consensual, incestual relationship with her father. Now, little sis Valerie Bertinelli is making headlines of her own (is there some kind of One Day at a Time DVD box set that is for sale that I don’t know about: why are these people getting interviews?) by ripping Tony Romo:
What’s next, the red head mom on One Day reveals she isn’t actually a red head? Romo, of course, had nothing to do with the offending video, which was actually a Burger King creation.
A bad season just got a little worse for Tony Romo. What’s ironic here, of course, is that Marion Barber is the real victim: I mean, who talks like that?
This video has been making the rounds. Troubling, at best.
Great player, absolutely terrible commercial.
This will play 240 times every Sunday–enjoy it.

America has spoken. Favre and Vick top jersey sales
Lots going on this week as we prepare for the final pre-season games, roster cuts, fantasy football drafts, and very soon, the start of the NFL season. Time to get fired up, folks!

Candice Crawford will now distract Romo from his football playing duties
The Detroit Lions won the Kevin O’Connell sweepstakes, signing him to back up Matt Stafford and Daunte Culpepper. [Yahoo!]

Rex Ryan continues to paw at the sleeping bear, taking ill-advised swipes at Bill Belichick
Well, we all know what the biggest news of the week is. And we’re still not talking about it. Eff that disingenuous prick … there’s sill an 60% chance he’s going to retire again anyway.

There’s a lot of big stuff going on in NFL news today … namely that Michael Vick was reinstated by Roger Goodell and Plaxico Burress still looks like he’s heading to jail.
But when we saw this picture of Redskins RB Clinton Portis (above), it shook us to the core. Suddenly, all other news seemed trivial compared to the paralyzing, horriffic fear of having our brains eaten in our sleep by this blonde devil-creature. It’s all we could do to get out of the fetal position and crawl to the keyboard to make this post.
Clearly, there is only one way to handle this: don’t go to sleep. And if you see Portis on the street … KILL IT!!!

Happy belated 4th of July! Especially to the blond in the pink top.
Things have sort of gotten away from us here at ReadandReact since around the 4th of July, when a blur of whiskey, fireworks and real life responsibilities stepped in to interrupt your regularly scheduled pointless NFL banter. And for that, we’d like to apologize.
But let’s not kid ourselves. July is a particularly painful time for NFL news (we’re getting into Fantasy preview territory now), and since we won’t waste space on that attention whore who shall remain nameless, it’s been a little light on fodder for our cynical rants of late.
We’ll try to pick things up now that we’re heading into training camp, and there might be some semblance of actual football news. Or not. I mean, it’s not like we’re getting paid for this. Get off our backs, okay?!?