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We’ll be honest: we’ve never felt this detached from an NFL draft before. The labor dispute has clearly taken its toll, and where we’re normally full-on draft geeks who study relentlessly during the weeks leading up to the event, this year we find ourselves woefully under-prepared, and under-enthused about the proceedings.
But this evening, the 2011 NFL Draft festivities kick off in New York City, and our old friend DJ Steve Porter put together this incredible NFL Draft Remix, to commemorate the event. The video highlights some of the more memorable moments throughout the history of the event, as brought to us by ESPN … you get Kiper and Berman, Rozelle to Goodell, Primetime and Favre (or “Fav-or”, as it was announced on his draft day), and everything in between.
So if you’re worn down from all the lockout talk, and are looking for a little pick-me-up to remind you why you love the draft in the first place, this is for you:
In what amounts to a total shocker, Cleveland Browns RB Peyton Hillis was chosen to grace the cover Madden ’12. This year, the cover boy of the popular EA Sports’ video game franchise was put up to a fan vote, with 32 players (one from each team) entered into a March madness-style tournament, with fans deciding who would advance. And after five weeks and 13 million votes, the undrafted RB out of Arkansas was crowned the winner.
Hillis, a 10th seed, went through a gauntlet of higher-ranked opponents, defeating Ray Rice, Matt Ryan, Jamaal Charles and #1 seed Aaron Rodgers in a stunner to reach the finals, where he soundly defeated Eagles QB Michael Vick to win the cover with 66% of the final round votes. The victory over Rodgers stunned everyone the most, leading many to speculate that Packers fans rallied to vote against Rodgers in fear of the dreaded “Madden Curse”.
But regardless, Hillis – who burst onto the NFL scene last season with over 1,600 total yards and 13 TDs – clearly had his own viral support team of Browns fans, and is eager to disprove the existence of the curse:
“For people to believe in this so-called curse, I can’t wait to prove people wrong,” he said. “From what I believe and where I am in my spiritual life, it would be good to prove them wrong in that sense.”
You’ve gotta know that the folks at EA sports had something else in mind when they started this tournament. But Hillis is pretty much a prototypical “Madden Guy”, so he actually fits the brand perfectly. And at this point, Browns fans will take anything that could even be considered a positive sign for their franchise, and Hillis is the best thing they’ve got going right now.
WATCH THE VIDEO OF THE MADDEN ’12 COVER ANNOUNCEMENT AFTER THE JUMP
Nathaniel Stanton: Stanton and Menotti Contemporary Interiors, Nathaniel speaking.
Ben Roethlisberger: Hi, I’m calling to see if I could hire an interior decorator for my apartment.
NS: You have come to the right place! What is your name, sir?
BR: Ben Roethlisberger. My friends call me Big Ben.
NS: Outstanding!
BR: I play football for the Steelers.
NS: This is the game with all the men and the tight pants?
BR: Uh… yeah, I guess.
NS: What a delight! Do you have a particular look you would like for your apartment? Maybe something to design around? Art perhaps?
BR: Well, I have a Beers of the World poster and a collection of Fatheads.
NS: A Fat Head?
BR: These large, stick-on football players. You put them on your wall.
NS: So a Maximalists, perhaps. Do you have any furniture that you would like to keep? Just trying to get a sense… Would hate to give you English Chintz when you might really be looking for Neo-Bachelor Minimalism, if you know what I mean.
BR: I don’t think I have anything I need to keep. Oh that’s not true, I bought a replica of Dumbledore’s chair from the Harry Potter movies. I like to sit on that chair with a bucket of hot chicken on my lap and search for foreign nudie movies on Netflix streaming and make my way through a 12-pack.
NS: An heirloom piece… I see. We must keep it. Do you entertain?
BR: Well, sometimes Hines will come over and cook me dinner if we have had a tough practice. He likes to put on an a tiny apron and make a roast. We unwind together. He calls it, “us time.” I also will sometimes just call random numbers at the college and if a girl answers, invite her over.
NFL.com bloggers and fantasy guru Adam Rank has imagined the ultimate NFL fight card, headlined by (real fighter) Tom Zbikowski vs. (real talker) Ochocinco. Take a look! NFL.com’s illustration/design team came up with the poster, which we’d love to hang on our wall!
Roger Goodell: ….So essentially, that’s where it stands currently. Do any of you have any questions for me right now?
Ralph Wilson: I can’t see anyone?
Arthur Blank: It’s a phone call sir. So you shouldn’t see anyone.
Bob Kraft: What’s the hold up, Roger?
Goodell: They don’t want 18 games, they are worried about injury. I think if we can agree on the amount of games, the rest will fall into place.
Al Davis: Who’s worried?
Goodell: The players, sir. The people we are negotiating with.
Davis: Negotiate! I once rode the dragon with Howard Hughes, I only eat the beating hearts of unicorns, I sleep upside down in a belfry, I don’t negotiate with anyone!
Kraft: Al, good God, have you ever listened to yourself? You’re losing it.
Davis: Of course, I have only heard the sound of my voice since I had my face laminated in 1987.
Dan Snyder: Why don’t we just keep it at 16 and put this thing to bed.
Jerry Jones: Snyder, why don’t you shut up. You don’t know anything.
Snyder: Whatever, Jerry! Great job with the tickets!
Paul Allen: Hey, let’s work together, boys. I need more money for my mattress. I’m sleeping funny.
Randy Lerner: Have you tried putting some gold bars in there?
Zygi Wilf: Oh that works. Or sometimes I will have some of my servants get in there for the night. The odd shapes of their bodies provides a good night’s rest.
Blank: I find that if you shred the 100-dollar bills before you put them in the mattress, it’s more comfortable.
Goodell: Let’s keep on track. Do you all still want 18 games?
Wilson: Wait, this is a phone? Where is the dial? Is this magic!?
Blank: Sir, it isn’t magic, just a newer phone.
Wilson: Demons!
This clip comes to us from Slate.com, and is a brilliant take on what the Super Bowl broadcast might look like if it the world’s most renowned filmmakers were in the director’s chair. From Quentin Tarantino to Wes Anderson and Jon-Luc Godard, we get a taste of the game through their eyes:
I’m somewhat partial to the David Lynch version, myself.
This is just fantastic. From the guys over at BlackBook comes this tremendous first-person account of one Green Bay Packers fan’s experience at last weekend’s NFC Championship game.
Apparently, while braving the Soldier Field crowd to root on his beloved Packers, this gentleman had an encounter with none other than diehard Bears fan and comic legend Bill Murray, who was seated right behind him. And even though Green Bay won the game, ole’ Bill wasn’t going to let this interloper intrude on the Bears’ home turf without at least giving him a little bit of the business.
From the source himself:
My friend Matt Katrosar flew to Chicago last weekend to hang out with some of his Windy City pals and attend the Bears/Packers NFL playoff game. He was wearing a Green Bay jersey (in support of old-school Packers legend Ray Nitschke) amid a sea of Chicago blue. During the 2nd quarter, Matt celebrated a considerably good play on the part of Green Bay with the usual hootin’ and hollerin’ reserved for such moments. That’s when he was blatantly shoved from behind. Turning to catch a glimpse of his assailant, he discovered his pusher was none other than Bill Murray, a huge Chicago Bears fan, who was unapologetically enjoying the moment.
Matt’s friend managed to capture a photo of Murray in mid-celebration, laughing at the rival fans. Naturally, Matt wanted a picture with the legendary actor. Murray’s response to his request? “Nitschke is a pussy.” So much for “No one will ever believe you.”
LOVE IT. And Bill Murray wins again.
Apparently we’re into comparing NFL personalities to cartoon characters this week.
After yesterday’s terrifying press conference, it was only a matter of time before the someone capitalized on the increasingly striking similarities between Raiders owner Al Davis and Simpsons’ cartoon mogul C. Montgomery Burns, to comedic effect:
Other than the fact that he looks about 30-years too young for present-day Al and is missing a weeping sore on his forehead … well done, interwebs.
Winners in Bold
Carolina @ Atlanta:
Carolina ends its mess of a season against the Falcons who are having a fine year. They say that John Fox might be tapped to replace Eric Mangini if he is let go in Cleveland. Something about that is wildly depressing and stinks of resigned mediocrity of the new normal: withering job prospects, no assets, low paycheck, massive debt from an education that gets you nowhere, and a marginal chance of your NFL team winning eight games.
Pittsburgh @ Cleveland:
Speaking of Eric Mangini, his under-talented Browns take on the Steelers at home in front of the faithful. Many of us at ReadAndReact headquarters are firmly behind Coach Mangini and feel he deserves one more year to right the ship. The Browns have had a tedious revolving door of coaches and quarterbacks since they re-entered the league. Their fans at this point are listless and battered, wondering why they are being tested by God, and if he will ever show them mercy. I hope for all those toiling by the lake that the Browns absolutely destroy the Steelers this Sunday, that Holmgren looks deep into his extra large soul and decides to give Mangini one more year. Curses can’t last forever, even the biblical variety, and Mangini might be able to lead this team to the promised land yet.

The process takes longer when God has arbitrarily decided the team you coach has to suffer for 40 years (AP)
Minnesota @ Detroit:
Here’s to Brett Favre for playing football one year too many. Here’s a toast for him being completely himself, whether that is leaping around the field like a 12-year old on a playground or giving a maddening self indulgent, self-serving press conference. It is rare these days for an athlete to show any of his true self, as he will be pillaged for any misstep, wrong turn of phrase, or even smiling on the sidelines by the press, blogs, and fans alike. Favre, unlike the other professionally programmed robots, happily unleashes his id upon us all and, though many times not likeable, it is real and honest. Here’s to one of the best moments of the season, of Favre making a surprise appearance, outdoors in a snowy stadium in Minnesota, leading a touchdown drive like old times, fans delirious, scripted like a movie. Then, as quick as it started, it sadly ends with his head bouncing off the frozen turf. Favre exits the league leaving fans with a lot of wonderful memories and conflicting opinions as he heads back to his ranch in Mississippi. Perhaps like Cincinnatus he waits for another team to call or maybe he just swims in bathtubs full of money or puts on his Wranglers and heads to the local high school and with joy on his face tosses pass after pass to high school kids running fade patterns, his shadow growing larger and larger as the sun sets red in the evening Mississippi sky.
Oakland @ Kansas City:
The league would be a better place if the Raiders were a better team. A win on Sunday would bring them to eight wins and forward on the road to respectability. Kansas City on the other hand is having a dream season, the fans enjoying every moment because they aren’t sure if it’s a dream or if it’s real.

Danny, Wes and Julian celebrate a Patriots victory by jumping up and down on Tom and Gisele's hand crafted $20,000 king sized bed
Miami @ New England:
I like to think of Danny Woodhead as a loveable hobbit somehow pressed into service by the mad wizard Belichik. I imagine every time he gets the ball he screams in fear and is actually just running for his life, giants and monsters around every turn as he higgledy piggledy does his best to dash to safety. I like to imagine that after each game he goes to Tom and Gisele’s apartment and hops on the bed with his pals Wes Welker and Julian Edelman, happy to be alive as Gisele and Tom try on Uggs boots and read long letters from their old friend and leftist poet Randy Moss.
Buffalo @ New York Jets:
The Bills have been meanderingly interesting this year and the emergence of the Fitzmagic and his beard have galvanized a rust belt fan base and has inspired lonely men (and some women) in hunting cabins and ice fishing houses of upper New York to grow out their own beards in solidarity, and quite frankly for something to do. It has also inspired ReadAndReact to attempt to cajole the Amish Rifle to save his truly magnificent beard; please sign our petitionthat implores him that the world needs men with beards and he is a beacon of hope to us all. We also might create a petition to make the Jets go away. They are a wildly irritating clown show that needs to be taken down and shipped out of town.
Cincinnati @ Baltimore:
Speaking of clown shows, whether it was the poor coaching, play, or just a cavalcade of bad decisions in critical moments, this season has been an utter disaster for the Bengals. They face a typically well prepared and winning Baltimore team that could probably beat the Bengals with four guys from the practice squad and seven bottles of Gatorade.