Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category
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15
Feb
2010
2
Feb
2010
It’s Groundhog Day, and Punxsutawny Polamalu saw his sha … GAAAHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT!!! (video)
This is apparently an ad which is set to air during the Super Bowl on Sunday, promoting TruTV’s new series, NFL Full Contact. And while the idea of “six more weeks of football” seems like a fantastic idea on the surface, I gotta say, this image of a freaky miniature Troy Polamalu scares the ever-loving crap out of me. Watch at your own risk:
And with that, Polamalu has officially become my least favorite NFL pitch man of all time. Between this and those awful Head & Shoulders commercials, I’d be cool with never seeing ol’ Troy in an advertisement ever again.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to undergo some hypnotherapy to try and drive that image out of my brain forever.
24
Jan
2010
General Larry Platt sings “Pants on the Ground” for Vikings (video)
Vikings TE Vishante Shiancoe with General Larry Platt (Image via Twitter)
In case you were worried that the whole American Idol “Pants on the Ground” meme would go away too quickly, rest assured that the Minnesota Vikings are doing their part to give General Larry Platt his full 15 minutes of fame. Brett Favre sang Platt’s song in the Vikings’ locker room after last week’s win, and this afternoon, HC Brad Childress brought in the General himself to inspire the team prior to today’s NFC Championship game.
CONTINUE AFTER THE JUMP FOR VIDEO OF PLATT’S PERFORMANCE
22
Jan
2010
Rex Ryan Invited to Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest … IF Jets win
I mean, just look at that gullet! (Image via Boston.com)
Well this is just fantastic. Word from Deadspin is that Major League Eating is offering Rex Ryan a seat in the 2010 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest … if the Jets beat the Colts this weekend. That’s right, if the Jets win, Rex will go stomach to stomach with the likes of Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut for global eating supremacy.
If I were the Colts I’d be worried right now. If Rex Ryan ever needed any more motivation to win on Sunday (more than, ya know, going to the Super Bowl), I’d say a tray filled with Nathan’s famous franks is probably his definition of heaven.
And if I were Kobayashi and Chestnut, I’d be worried too … it’s like they just invited Jabba the Hut to compete against them.
VIEW THE INVITATION FROM NATHAN’S AFTER THE JUMP
22
Jan
2010
Prince’s new Vikings Fight Song = Worst. Song. Ever.
Prince is clearly inspired by his favorite NFL club. Just look at that passion!
I gotta admit, when I first saw the headline that Prince had written a new song for the Minnesota Vikings, I got pretty excited. We know that Prince – being from Minneapolis – is a real Vikings fan, so I figured this was a perfect fit. As a child of the 80’s, I had visions of a funky-ass track, featuring Prince’s signature guitar and vocal stylings, with Sheila E on the backbeat and a hyped-up, synth-driven chorus. Maybe throw in some Vanity and Appolonia dancing side stage, and I am there!
Ummm … not so much. Instead, apparently Prince “saw the future” during last weekend’s blowout win over the Cowboys and, clearly inspired by the religious implications of Brett Favre’s third coming, wrote a Vikings-themed gospel song later that night. That’s right. It’s a gospel song. And a half-assed one at that. Prince doesn’t sing on it, opting instead for a local Minneapolis youth choir, and he seems to have used a busted Casio synth to lay down the track, recording directly to a cassette deck.
But don’t let me influence your opinion. Here is a clip of the song, so you can judge for yourself:
If you’re so inclined, you can hear the full version of the song here – Audio player at the right of the page.
LYRICS AFTER THE JUMP
3
Dec
2009
WEBINAROFF: PART II
Last time the Giants played the Cowboys, Artie took me down in a battle of football wits. This week: payback! Giants! Cowboys! Fufkin! C-O-U-R-T-N-E-Y! SUNDAY! WEBINAROFF!
This time it’s mildly personal.
1
Dec
2009
ENCORE: Simpson’s Back Just in Time to Ruin Everything
There is little denying that this December 2007 shimmy changed the course of history:
After losing to the Eagles that day, Dallas went on to play very poorly in a loss to the Giants in the 2007 playoffs and suck crotch-apples in 2008. Many are of the view that the biggest distraction that the Cowboys eliminated this offseason wasn’t T.O., Pacman, or Tank, but Jessica Simpson. Well, guess what Cowboys fans:
What better way to exact revenge against Tony Romo and sabotage a perfectly good run by the Cowboys than to go after Romo’s favorite new target, Miles Austin? While there are no reports that Austin and Simpson are actually dating yet, the mere prospect of it can threaten the precarious balance Dallas seems to have found as they enter what has historically been their toughest month.
19
Nov
2009
The Adventures of Luke SkyWelker & Han Brady
The guys over at Global Sports Fraternity have really outdone themselves with one. Check out this awesome animated short, which chronicles a battle between the evil Jets Empire and the Patriot Rebellion. Guess who plays Jabba the Hut?
(Ed. note: just try to ignore the fact that the Patriots are clearly more of an evil empire than the Jets in this scenario … I know it’s hard, but try to suspend your disbelief for a moment and enjoy):
10
Nov
2009
A Browns Fan Dreaming: Holmgren Aloft
Marching Towards Cleveland: for Frodo!
Mike Holmgren floats above the sky. He sees taco carts, cans of Tecate, young men in Browns jerseys. He sees the ghost of Otto Graham and they shake hands in the borderlands. They make a promise to get gin and tonics, sidecars and gin fizzy’s, and they stare into the distance. They imagine a different future for the Browns. They are in an old bar in North Beach and the bartender is talking about a suicide pool. The radio clicks on to a college station and a girl with a thin voice is talking about the time she read “Big Sur” in high school and that’s when she decided to go to Berkeley. She now plays “California Zephyr.” A pretty waitress listens and doodles pictures of cats wearing capes on her notepad. Holmgren hears the song and smiles. He remembers the summer he spent working at a YMCA camp in Ely, Minnesota and suddenly he knows that the only place he will be taking the Browns is to the Super Bowl. He finishes his drink, heads out into the fog and diagrams new plays in his mind as he hails a cab to SFO.
Jay Farrar & Ben Gibbard \”California Zephyr\”
18
Oct
2009
Where The Mild Things Are – Eli Manning’s journey
(Original Photoshop/hack job by ArtieFufkin)
This weekend, the film version of Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s story, Where The Wild Things Are opens in theaters nationwide. Sendak lives in Ridgefield, CT – the same town many of your ReadAndReact brethren grew up in – so we hold a strong affinity for his stories, and especially WTWTA. And for now, we remain hopeful that the Spike Jonze film doesn’t bastardize our childhood memories like so many other Hollywood blockbusters have in recent years.
While reminiscing on the story, we discovered an intriguing parallel between the tale of young Max and that of one young NFL athlete – NY Giants QB Eli Manning.
In Where The Wild Things Are, Max is a young boy who is sent to bed without supper and imagines sailing away across a harsh sea before reaching the land of the Wild Things, where he tames the monsters and becomes their King. In real life, Eli Manning is the youngest of a football family who has lived in the shadow of his older brother his whole life. He is criticized for his mild (if you will) personality, and lack of fire at QB. But he sails to the island of Manhattan, enduring the harsh seas of the NFL, and ultimately tames these monsters of the gridiron and leads them to a Super Bowl. (How’s that for a literary metaphor?!? Bit of a stretch? Ah well, we’re too far along to stop now.)
In 2009, with the Giants off to a 5-0 start, Eli seems to have taken another leap in his development – both as a person and as a football player. No longer does he have that 12-year-old “aww shucks” look on his face, or carry himself with that hang-dog demeanor we saw in his first 5 NFL seasons. His mild-mannered nature is now viewed as coolness – his nickname among his teammates is “Easy E”. There is a now sense of calm about him as he diagnoses defenses and efficiently finds open receivers. Eli has grown into a fully confident team leader, and his play on the field commands the respect of his teammates and opponents alike. It’s gotten to the point where little bro netted a perfect passer rating in one half of play last week against the Raiders!
Oh, what a Wild Rumpus they are having in New York!
Tomorrow, Manning will return to his hometown of New Orleans to square off against Drew Brees and the 4-0 Saints in a battle of the unbeatens. With people rightfully questioning the level of competition the Giants have faced thus far, this will be the first real test of the season for Eli. Going against one of the NFL’s best teams in front of his family and friends, while still suffering from a painful plantar fascia injury, Eli still has a lot to prove to his doubters.
Based on the way he has steadily progressed throughout his career, and the way he’s playing right now, I wouldn’t bet against Max … er, Eli to return home as conquering King. With his supper still hot.
