Jay Cutler Journal Excerpts: NFC Championship Week
Monday January 17
Playing Packers on Sunday. Papers are calling this a big deal. I am the only one in the locker room that reads the paper. Tribune is a rag. The Packers uniforms look stupid. I might have pancakes for dinner.
Tuesday January 18
Eating a Chipotle burrito. Reading nutritional content. Wildly caloric. Not surprising how fat the women are in this town. Does not explain overall stupidity, however. Spent some time last night watching tape of Packers. One of their linemen looks like a G.L.O.W. wrestler. Possibly shaved armpits. The world is going down the crapper one shaved manpit at a time.
Wednesday January 19
Urlacher gave a speech at the end of practice. Wasn’t listening. Distracted by strange cracks in locker room ceiling. Poor paint job. Shoddy union work. Players seemed fired up when he was done. Slipped out the back door when no one was looking. Sat in car in the parking lot. Listened to an old mix tape from old Vandy girlfriend. Counting Crows. The players stream out into the lot. A lot of the guys on the team drive really stupid cars.
Thursday January 20
Parents forwarded me a column from espn.com about me by some hack Rick Reilly. Parents still have AOL account. Print out and read article while in the hot tub. I remember Elway, very equine-shaped head. Very successful owner of car dealerships. I did not realize he was a football player. Just another thing Shanahan could not explain succinctly. Martz comes by drinking tea. He nods at me. Have ignored him since week 6 and life has been better for it.
Friday January 21
Spend evening with girlfriend. When she falls asleep head downstairs to watch TV. NFL Films is showing old Packers/Bears games. Make turkey sandwich and drink a glass of sodium-packed Spicy V-8. Watch grainy film and read poorly written scouting reports until I get tired and then go to bed. Even scouting reports on the Packers are boring.
Saturday January 22
I can tell that some of the guys are getting nervous about game on Sunday. Have to tell one of the receivers what the route is on simple audible during walk through. Gather the offense around me before heading into locker room. I tell them tomorrow is just another game. I tell them the Packers are idiots with shaved armpits and have a bush-league coach that couldn’t solve a crossword puzzle in a Highlights magazine much less come up with a plan to stop our offense. I look them in the eye for the first time all season, every single one of them, I promise them that we will win the game. When we break I notice the turf, as usual, looks like it has been taken care of by a drunken cadre of moronic, blind groundskeepers.
Sunday January 23
Wake up early. Write check to children’s hospital. Read paper. Girlfriend makes me toast. Poorly. Drive car the long way to stadium. Bears flags fly from apartment windows and from car antennas. Whole city seems to be wearing our jerseys. I even see an attractive woman amongst the general flab. She is pushing her young son in a stroller. He is holding a stuffed bear and smiling. I smile too. It will be a pleasure to beat the Packers today. What a stupid team.