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WEEK 11 PICKS: STEVERODGERS EDITION

By steverodgers

Winners in Bold

Buffalo @ Cincinnati: Pig City vs. the Home of Buffalo wings. Going with God’s favorite football snack on this one. I wonder if TO gets a little excited for this game – does he even remember playing in Buffalo? Did he buy a house? Regardless he is having a bang-up season.

Detroit @ Dallas: The media will needlessly hype Jason Garret because he is the Dallas Cowboys’ coach. However, in the end like all things Dallas he is wildly uninteresting and mediocre. There is no public transportation to Arlington. At least in Detroit you can still catch a bus.

Washington @ Tennessee: I have this strange feeling that Randy Moss and Jeff Fisher will get along. It might not translate into any wins, but I see them after the season on a road trip, two men searching for something intangible, maybe in a old convertible Mustang, listening to mixtapes with complicated cover art from college girlfriends, smoking cigarettes, picking up local girls at honky-tonks, emailing from local libraries along the way.  At night they will drink beer and pass bourbon back and forth on the hood of the car. Silently they will stare into the twilight and let their dreams get lost amongst the stars.

Arizona @ Kansas City: I’d watch this game if I had to. Also the Chiefs coach seems very unlikeable. Take your lumps. If Belichik and Mangini can shake hands, you can too.

How Soon We Forget (source: NFL.com)

Green Bay @ Minnesota: The last hurrah. Brett Favre, the lion in winter. I find America’s newfound dislike of Brett Favre to be predictable and boring. This idea that athletes should know when to retire is daft. Athletes should play until they want to quit or they are cut. If someone wants to pay them a ton of money to play a game for our enjoyment then they should go for it. This game and season will be remembered briefly and then forgotten, and one day not far in the future the cynical adult in all of us will have a moment of clarity and we will remember #4 picking up Donald Driver after a touchdown and bouncing him up and down under a shower of Wisconsin cheers – a pure expression of joy in a sometime overtly serious league, and we will wonder why we decided as a nation to have a collective stick up our asses in 2010.

Houston @ NY Jets: The Texans are one of the teams that you just wonder why they are in the league. They have a Rothko museum in Houston. I can guarantee that staring at a Rothko painting for two hours would do more for your soul and wellbeing then watching the Jets paste this dead-on-arrival franchise on Sunday. Sanchise forever!

Oakland @ Pittsburgh: I am pretty sure that the Steelers will annihilate the Autumn Wind this weekend. I am only picking Oakland because I used to live there, in this old factory across from the Oakland Coliseum. The night they lost the Superbowl a few years back, I woke up to notice outside my apartment that someone had lit a car on fire. The car was burning alone by itself, flickering in the grey light. If Michael Mann were to film it a wolf would have walked by… things like that stick with you.

Baltimore @ Carolina: Do people really care about the Carolina Panthers? Do they have fans?  I don’t get this team. Like the Texans, nobody cares.

Sometimes You Just Need a Chew (source: Justin K. Aller/Getty Images)

Cleveland @ Jacksonville:  Browns need to win this one to keep some solid momentum going. They are beaten up a bit, but hope springs in the steely gaze of rookie Colt McCoy and the Juggernaut Peyton Hillis. I have noticed as of late that Mangini has given up trying to not use Kodiak, now he has got a big chaw in during the game, spitting, getting Kodiak jammed up into his clipboard, in Josh Cribbs’ cleats, just saying to hell with it, and embracing his addiction. I am pretty sure the NFL will send him a memo soon, until then however, I am enjoying it.

Tampa Bay @ San Francisco: Will the Josh Freeman train continue to roll? Will the Troy Smith train get started? Will Mike Singletary deliver a fiery sermon about how only the devil can’t run the ball and then shoot lasers out of his eyes? I don’t know but I do like Troy Smith. I think a lot of teams will be kicking themselves for not picking him up when they had the chance.

Seattle @ New Orleans: Pete Carroll is very excited for this game… he is very EXCITED, he has got the Jock Jams going, he is slapping hands, he is running up and down the charter plane cracking jokes, getting they guys HYPED, these guys are pumped! Unfortunately they still loose; however, after the game they can get blackout drunk on Bourbon Street and forget the whole thing.

"Seriously though, maybe you could call me the Rock?" (Source: AJC.com)

Atlanta @ St. Louis: Don’t mess with Matty Ice! Do they really call him “Matty Ice”? Oh well sometimes you can’t get a do-over when it comes to nicknames. Atlanta is a solid team this year and they will make short work of St. Louis.

Indianapolis @ New England: I am picking the Pats because I am a wicked big homer. I have come around on Tom Brady and his hair. It really is magnificent… I bet all the guys in the locker room want to rub their hands through it, but are afraid that Gisele would have one of her bodyguards slit their throats and then hack them up with a machete.

New York Giants @ Philadelphia: Will Vick continue his march to become MVP this season and will we have to read article after article about his amazing turnaround from jailbird to Eagle? This game will be a good test, can’t say I am pulling for him, but I will be watching. Vick has been nothing short of electric this season.

Denver @ San Diego: Too bad this game isn’t in Denver. I heard that in Denver you can get drunk faster because of the altitude.

You Can Get Hammered in This Town (Photo by Sally Brown)