HBO Hard Knocks: New York Jets, Episode 1

By ArtieFufkin

(Photo: Photo: Al Pereira/Getty Images via NYMag.com

Last night, HBO premiered the first episode of this season’s edition of Hard Knocks featuring Rex Ryan and the New York Jets. I took the time to jot down my thoughts during the episode, which I’ve distilled below.

Essentially, this episode was about two things: Rex and Revis. Rex Ryan took center stage as expected and did not disappoint (especially in the cursing department), and Darrelle Revis was the central focus of the episode, despite (or more correctly, because of) his absence from camp.

The fine folks at JetTwit did a much better job breaking down last night’s episode than I ever could, but here are my running thoughts, in case anyone cares:

If this show were about my favorite team, this intro would get me seriously physically aroused. I think I’m ready for football to start

Cortland, NY is an awful town … as an alumnus of their rival Ithaca Bombers, I had the displeasure of visiting this beacon of crapitude several times during my college career, and this is not a place you want to spend your summers. But HBO managed to make it look better in 2 minutes of b-roll footage than it ever did during my time there. But I may be biased.

It’s obvious that the Revis holdout will be big storyline. It must be maddening to have everyone asking about one player when you’re trying to lead a group of 60+ other guys who are all there to do their job

Rex Ryan doesn’t look to have started shedding much weight yet from the lap band surgery.

Here’s video of Rex’s opening speech to his players. His goals for the team – all 3 units – is to lead the league in wins. Radical strategy, there. But he’s definitely someone you’d want to play for. Rex is so oddly charismatic, but boy, he sure does say “fuck” a lot (and I mean a LOT – video NSFW for language):

Rex wears black Chuck Taylors on the first day of camp … apparently this is his thing. And it elicits the “sexy Rexy” chant from a few male Jets fans, and he likes it.

(Photo: William Perlman/The Star-Ledger)

The players love Rex. “He talks like us”. He does bed checks himself on the first night. He checks in on Revis’ room just in case, and gives Tomlinson a packet of every negative article written about him to use as motivation

As we know, the Jets have added Tomlinson, Jason Taylor, Antonio Cromartie, Santonio Holmes this off-season. But seeing them on the field together is a different thing altogether. If they all gel with this club, it could be scary

Lest we forget, this show is a big commercial for the NFL and the Jets. This is a sanitized, made-for-tv version of the Jets. This isn’t a real documentary we’re watching here. Just keep that in mind.

Rookies vying to make the team are profiled … we’ll get to know a lot of players early on who don’t last very long, but there are a few guys here you want to root for. And on cue, there’s the first personnel meeting and injury casualty.

Ryan calls out his LB coach Weeks for having “tanning spray”, which is really just SPF 4 sunblock … they even fine the guy $5, and again for running shirtless.

Rex himself gets fined every time he has a snack, and he seems quite content to pay his fines to get his fix of cookies and candies.

GM Mike Tannenbaum is going to be a central figure of this series as he deals with personnel decisions. He seems like a pretty regular guy, actually … but owner Woody Johnson seems like death walking.

Kris Jenkins was an early loss for the Jets last season. I almost forgot about him … Bart Scott is the chatty Cathy on the defense, but Jenkins is an absolute beast. He would terrify me if on was on the field

Joe Namath is looking a little matronly these days

Joe Namath drops by camp to give some inspiration … he looks a bit like an old lesbian woman these days, but that doesn’t stop him imparting some of his football wisdom while he’s there. Namath tries to fix a glitch in the way Sanchez takes the snap, and takes over a coaches meeting with his ramblings. Everyone humors Broadway Joe

Ryan participates in a bit of a pass, punt kick competition with Tannenbaum. Neither of these guys are particularly fit, but there doesn’t seem to be any shortage of playtime at Jets camp

Rookie FB John Connor is a guy you want to root for. A good throwback FB is hard to find, and this guy looks like the real deal. With 16-year vet Tony Richardson also in camp, the competition should be fierce.

Again, talk turns to Revis, and Tannenbaum goes to meet with his agent at the Roscoe Diner in Sullivan county. I used to pass that place on route 17, every trip to/from Ithaca … what a bizarre place to have a high-level NFL contract meeting. Maybe that’s why the meeting was a disaster.

Tannenbaum says of Revis, “We’re so freaking far apart that I feel like a failure.” He seems ready to move on and try again next year

Braylon Edwards is going for the Kimbo Slice look

Braylon Edwards has HUGE beard. Apparently he’s not allowed to shave until he successfully goes a whole game without an easy drop

Sanchez on Santonio Holmes “Holy Shit he’s good”

I’m already annoyed with the focus on Revis

And the cuts begin. Tannenbaum delivers the news himself to one of the players, but Director of Pro Personnel Brendan Prophett looks to play the role of “hatchet man” for the club. This part sucks. You can’t help but feel for these guys

And that’s it … I’m not likely to do this for each episode moving forward, but it was fun to watch, and now I’m fully fired up for the season to start.

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