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Rex Ryan phone stalks Jets season ticket holders

By ArtieFufkin

Do you want this man calling you late at night?

If you’re a Jets season ticket holder, you’ve clearly had things pretty rough for a while.  I mean, what with the whole 2nd-class team in the world’s largest sports market inferiority complex, and all.  And every year, the Jets organization will do something to get the core fanbase fired up about their SB chances … only to shatter their hopes & dreams come December  (Quick fact:  the Jets haven’t advanced past the divisional round of the playoffs since 1982).

Well, this year is no different, Jets fans! With new head Coach Rex Ryan leading the way and 1st round draft pick Mark Sanchez in town, Gang Green is off to a blazing 1-0 start, and Jets nation is once again believing that this is their year.  Ryan in particular has been stoking the flames, starting a war of words with every team in the AFC East, to cartoonish effect.

So, with the upcoming home clash against AFC East overlord New England Patriots, Ryan is putting out the call – literally – to Jets fans, asking them to bring the noise on Sunday.  All season ticket holders received this this somewhat apathetic, fully self-deprecating voice mail from Ryan,  in an attempt to fire up what he so eloquently refers to as the “13th or 14th man”:

I don’t know about you, but I could run through a brick wall right now!!!  I mean, that got me CRAZED!

Seriously though, if you’re a Jets season ticket holder, I bet the idea of a phone call from the head coach of your favorite team sounds like a really cool thing, but what if this becomes a regular occurrence?  What if the Jets tumble into a downward spiral after starting 1-4 (their next 3 games are against the Pats, Titans and Saints)?  The NY media will turn on the Jets, and I can just envision drunken, mid-food binge, late night phone calls from Rex, ranting about how he’s not good enough to be an NFL head coach, and how dad was right all along.

J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!!