Title

Clown Car: Cease

By TheDarkHorse

He just rolled on in.

Guy starts a mere 16 games at USC, then lands as the 5th pick in the NFL draft.

He’s savvy with the media. He’s chummy with his teammates.

That’s all very nice–but can he play? Apparently, he can.

His much-awaited first pass as a New York Jet brought the fanbase out of their seats (note: you think the guy in the Boomer Esiason jersey was relieved to see this?):

In four preseason games, Mark Sanchez has totaled some impressive numbers: 21 of 33 passing, 259 yards, 3 TDs and a pick. He’s improved with each outing. Last night, in a 38-27 beating of the Eagles, he went 5-for-5, for 67 yards and a score–before being pulled. LOOK… we refuse to get excited (or tricked) by quarterback performances in the preseason (see: Eric Zeier), but the Jets–who are long-suffering, and always toil in the shadow of the Giants (and play home games in a stadium named AFTER the Giants–not even IN New York)–appear to have found a gem in Mr. Sanchez.

That said, the NFL preseason tells lies: as of right now, another highly touted USC quarterback, Matt Leinert, leads the NFL in passing with 507 yards.

However, let’s not forget Emmitt Smith‘s overtly condescending 1993 Reebok ad campaign, which instructed us ad nauseum (while Emmitt held out for more money) that “PLAYERS ARE MADE IN THE PRESEASON.” Setting aside the depressing mix-messaging and post-modern irony of that slogan’s attempt to sell shoes to brain-muted children, Sanchez has played, and played well during these trial runs–and kept his ego in check. Now he enters the crucible of the regular season–where players who rush for 124 yards and 2 scores in practice frays are snuffed out by the big boys, held to 8 yards on 11 carries, and jettisoned to the practice squad–a beguiling TRANSACTION item in USA TODAY. A spaghetti dinner and a Greyhound ticket back to East Earnie, Kansas. A memory.

Jets fans remember this: a clown car of low-impact, leaf-colored, momma’s boys under center. They are fed up, and there is no better time than now for someone with a pulse to emerge from the steaming trash heap under center. The Jet fanbase is prepared to make him the toast of the town. Giants fans have tried with Eli Manning, but something–on a deeper, subconscious level–doesn’t fit, despite Eli’s success. Something about him screams “Certified Public Accountant with seven years experience testing Sarbannes-Oxley regulations for emerging companies in Indiana!”

The worst move Eli ever made was getting tugged into these ultra-corny, IQ-reducing ads with Peyton. Enough already with the Manning Brothers attempting to act. Their work on screen is in a dead heat with High School Musical 3 for “reasons man should cease to exist.”

Two out of five television commercials involve one--or both--of these button-down-shirt-wearing, "awe-shucks" hobby horses--and I want to burn the hair off my head just thinking about it.

Bottom line: The city of New York (and the state of New Jersey, the true home of the Jets and the Giants) is simply better off when both teams thrive. There’s no question which of the two teams has captured the city’s imagination–the Jets struggle to simply be noticed, at times.

If you’re Sanchez, you can’t ask for more than the opportunity to start for this team–in this city–with this rabid fanbase ready to hoist you up (or feed you to the dead). Rise or fall, baby. Rise or fall.