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Clinton Portis Will Haunt Your Dreams

By ArtieFufkin

There’s a lot of big stuff going on in NFL news today … namely that Michael Vick was reinstated by Roger Goodell and  Plaxico Burress still looks like he’s heading to jail.

But when we saw this picture of Redskins RB Clinton Portis (above), it shook us to the core. Suddenly, all other news seemed trivial compared to the paralyzing, horriffic fear of having our brains eaten in our sleep by this blonde devil-creature. It’s all we could do to get out of the fetal position and crawl to the keyboard to make this post.

Clearly, there is only one way to handle this: don’t go to sleep. And if you see Portis on the street … KILL IT!!!