9
Jun
2009
Bledsoe Residence: Phone Call from Trent Edwards
Drew Bledsoe: Hullo?
Trent Edwards: Drew! Drew it’s me, Trent Edwards, National Football League quarterback for the Buffalo club.
DB: Oh sure. I played there – wait, what time is it?
TE: Um… I think like 11 a.m. your time
DB: Good grief! I haven’t seen this side of noon since Dallas! It’s kind of nice. I hear birds.
TE: Listen Drew, you gotta help! Terrell is making me crazy!
DB: T.O.? What is that fellow up to now?
TE: He’s following me around the locker room! He keeps wanting to go over “the playbook”!
DB: What’s wrong with that? Could be worse… Hello Mr. Mittens! [ruffled sounds of petting cat]
TE: Yeah, but Drew it’s not the playbook! It’s an old issue of Highlights from like the late 80s!
DB: Highlights! The magazine for school children? Which issue?
TE: Which issue? Which issue?!? The issue is T.O. is a maniac! He gets himself all sudsy and then slides under the shower stalls while we are in them! He says that he is the “shower seal” and he “wants to see some fishies”! I mean… what is that? “Fishies”? It’s unnerving!
DB: Is it one of the theme issues? Like about animals? “Barnyard pals”!
TE: Barnyard…? Drew are you even listening? Oh no! There he is! [whispering] He’s wearing a sailor hat!
Terrel Owens: [in background]: Ahoy Matey! Let’s go over me playbook… Arrrrr!
TE [hissing]: Drew! Help!
DB: Say hello to T.O. for me, Trent! Okay, it’s time for Mr. Mitten’s breakfast! Hmmmm… does that sound good Mr. Mittens?!
TE: Drew?
TO: [in background]: Arrrr! Put down that modern conveyance, landlubber, it’s time to walk me plank!
TE [sobbing]: Drew please… he has a parrot.
Dial Tone: sustained.
