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Don’t Starks With Me, Officer

By C-O-U-R-T-N-E-Y!

Miami Dolphins defensive end Randy Starks was arrested early Sunday morning when a police officer got in the way of his house party on wheels.  Starks, who was allegedly driving a truck packed with 13 people inside (including a lady on his lap) at the time of the incident, remains jailed in Miami.

Parcells Plays Pocket Pinball in Happier Times. (Photo: Getty Images)

Unless your name is Lawrence Taylor, Bill Parcells has never been one to embrace off-season incidents—particularly ones that defy explanation. (Imagine for a moment if you will the expression on Parcells mug when the phrases “13 people . . .girl on his lap . . . officer pinned” crossed his ears.)  When with the Cowboys, for example, Parcells cut safety Keith Davis after he was the innocent victim of a shooting at a nightclub (albeit a nightclub that the team had told players not to attend).

This reminds us of that old maxim:  If you are going to pin someone with your truck, you ought not let that person be a police officer.